TC 3: Silent Screams
by Tegan's Muse
Summary: #3 in The Tegan Chronicles... what happens when you have love, a birthday party, Nirrti and another man from Tegan's past and mix it all up with SG1?  Rated M for Violence... there is plenty of whump in here.
1. Tiki Torches and Love

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 1**

**Tiki Torches and Love**

"Tiki gets to see Doc Fraiser, for post." Jack announced as he stepped through the gate with his team.

Tegan just glared at him.

"Who?" Janet looked up at Colonel O'Neill.

"Major Kiser." Teal'c answered.

"Yeah, Tiki," Jack smiled soliciting another hostile expression from the red head.

Sam put a placating hand on Tegan's shoulder, silently reminding her that hitting a superior officer was an offense. Although she personally wouldn't have blamed her in the least for belting him, even if she personally liked the nickname.

"What happened?" Janet nodded to Tegan's bandaged hand.

"It's nothing, just a burn." She shrugged.

"Actually," Daniel spoke up. "She was injured while once again saving Jack's ass."

"Quite literally." Jack rubbed his rear to bring the statement home.

"SG1, I want you to report to the infirmary. Debriefing will be in one hour." General Hammond let down his mask of professionalism for a split second. "This should be interesting."

Tegan made a point of rolling her eyes so that the General could see her. She wanted to be sure he knew she was in no way amused by the situation. While she was busy rolling her eyes at Hammond, Janet took advantage of the distraction and reached for the injured hand.

"Ouch!" Tegan turned penetrating green orbs on the smaller doctor. "Don't touch."

"I have to take a look at it," Janet insisted.

"When I get to the infirmary I'll be more than happy to let you have a peek. Until then hands off," Tegan growled before turning to face a snickering Jack. "Just remember Colonel, I walk softly and carry a big needle."

Teal'c tilted his head slightly. "I thought it was, ambulate faintly and possess a massive rod."

"Funny, Teal'c. Real funny," Tegan huffed before trudging out of the embarkation room.

"I thought it was funny big guy." Jack patted him on the shoulder before following Major Kiser down to the infirmary. "Tiki, wait up."

Tegan continued her journey ignoring Jack's pleas.

When Janet pulled back the curtain Tegan was sitting on the foot of the bed with her shirt still on. "How am I supposed to check you if you're still dressed?"

Tegan shrugged, and looked down at the bandage on her hand.

"Who dressed your wound?"

"Sam."

"Ouch?" Janet asked, remembering hearing Jack complain for weeks about the job she'd done splinting his leg.

"It wasn't that bad." Tegan offered.

"So, can I see it?"

"If you're asking, no," Tegan gave her a crafty grin.

"Then I guess I'll have to make it an official order. I'm going to go check out your comrades and when I get back I want you stripped down to your underwear. Do I make myself clear?"

Tegan nodded silently.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes ma'am, perfectly clear, ma'am."

"That's more like it." Janet smiled before walking out.

* * *

><p>"Ok, so let's hear it." General Hammond took his seat at the conference table.<p>

Colonel O'Neill shrugged his shoulders. "I think Daniel had the best vantage point."

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Well, we were getting along great with the people of P3G-256, or the Kabloos as they call themselves. Their culture is very much like native Hawaii. Very primitive, no running water, electricity. They live in huts and use Tiki torches for lighting. When they saw Major Kiser they fell in love with her red hair and told us it reminded them of a tiki torch. Then Jack was bending over and someone knocked a tiki torch over. It was heading straight for Jack's…" Daniel cleared his throat. "Backside, and Tegan reached out to catch it."

"Thus the burn and the nickname," Jack finished as the door to the debriefing room abruptly swung up, hitting the back wall.

"Doctor, have you heard of knocking?" General Hammond looked to his CMO who stood glaring at Major Kiser, her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, sir." Janet didn't break eye contact as her nostrils flared.

"Is there a problem, doctor?"

"Major Kiser skipped out on her post mission exam."

"Major Kiser?" General Hammond turned to face her.

"Oh, grow up Colonel." Tegan rolled her eyes in his direction before turning to look at Hammond.

"Major, I'm waiting for an answer."

"Doctor Warner completed my post mission physical, sir."

"Dr. Fraiser?"

Janet ignored him, "I told you to wait for me to return."

"You told me," Tegan corrected. "To strip down to my underwear before you got back. You didn't say another doctor couldn't do my exam."

"Colonel," Janet turned to Jack who was clearly amused by the whole conversation. She had no doubt he was figuring out a way to work Tegan's stripping comment into his next fantasy. "Big, dull needles."

"Whaaaat?" He held his hands up in mock surrender.

"Sir," Janet turned her attention back to General Hammond. "I'd like Major Kiser to report to the infirmary as soon as she is done here."

"You can have her now, Doctor." General Hammond laced his fingers together. "And when you're done, I'd like to see both of you in my office."

"Yes, sir." Janet and Tegan answered in unison.

"Strip." Janet commanded after she pulled the privacy curtain around one of the beds in the infirmary.

"Do you mind?" Tegan glared at her.

"Actually I do. Every time I give you any privacy you disappear on me."

"It wasn't like that Janet, and you know it. Warner came in and offered to do my post. I didn't see any harm in it."

"Well from now on, if I am on duty I will do your post."

"Aye-aye."

"You're not in the Navy, Major."

"Can we just get this over with?" Tegan pulled her shirt over her head.

"You can put your shirt back on." Janet looked down at Tegan's chart to distract her from watching the lithe woman dress.

"Is that all?"

"No, I still need to take a look at your burn." Janet caught her hand in hers. "Warner didn't examine it?"

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of a burn."

"I have no reservations about your ability as a doctor when it comes to others. However, you tend to discount your personal welfare."

"I do not." Tegan pulled her hand back and started removing the dressing. "See, a minor burn."

"Minor?" Janet raised her eyebrows as she looked at Tegan's charred palm.

"Yes, minor. A little Silvadine and it'll be as good as new."

"And what would you do if you were treating this wound in say… Major Carter?"

Tegan clenched her jaw. "You're going to put me on restricted duty, aren't you?"

"Do you think I should?"

"No."

"But if the tables were reversed?"

"The tables aren't reversed." Tegan flexed her fingers while biting on her lower lip. "Full range of motion, no muscle or ligament involvement. It's a superficial burn. Nothing more."

"And nothing less." Janet pulled out a sterile roll of Kling wrap. "If this gets infected…"

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it." Tegan cut her off.

"Has anyone ever told you, you are hard headed?"

"Never," Tegan smiled.

* * *

><p>"You wanted to see us sir?" Janet inquired as she and Tegan stepped into his office.<p>

"Yes." General Hammond waited while Tegan closed the door. "How's the burn, doctor?"

"It's fine sir." Tegan replied a second ahead of Janet.

"I guess I should have been specific. Dr. Fraiser, how is Major Kiser's burn?"

"I've seen worse sir." Janet assured him that it would heal quickly, barring any infection.

"Is there a problem I need to be made aware of?"

"A problem sir?"

"Yes Major, between you and Doctor Fraiser."

"No problem, sir. I just failed to see why Dr. Warner couldn't do my post. But we've cleared that up, sir."

"I'm glad to hear it. I assume there will be no more interruptions like the one that took place today?"

"No sir." Janet replied knowing the question was directed toward her.

"Very well, Majors. You are both dismissed."

"Thank you sir." Tegan was the first one out the door.

"Tegan, wait up." Janet called after her.

"I have nothing more to say to you, doctor."

"Well I need to talk to you." Janet ran up to her. "I don't see why you're mad at me, I'm just trying to do my job."

"Just like Dr. Warner was. If you don't have full confidence in his ability to do post mission physicals than maybe you should have him transferred to the band-aid clinic at Sugar Grove, West Virginia."

"I have confidence in Dr. Warner's abilities, however I am the most capable person to care for you considering your medical intricacies."

"Fine," Tegan huffed the fight and anger leaving her voice.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Janet stepped around the curtain after finishing up Jack's post mission physical. Tegan wondered briefly why she always saved her for last. "How was the mission?"<br>"Fine," Tegan shrugged. "Routine, boring."

"Boring?" Janet hadn't heard Tegan use that word before.

"Yup, dull planet, dry, hot, nothing spectacular. I probably still have sand in my ears."

"Daniel thought it was pretty cool," Janet offered.

"He thinks everything is 'cool,'" She made air quotes around the word.

"So, Cassie asked me to ask you if you got back to earth on schedule if you'd like to come to dinner?"

"Cassie did?"

"Yup," Janet's eyebrows rose.

"Did she invite Sam?"

"No," Janet closed Tegan's chart, and pulled out her stethoscope. "She and Cassie have every other Saturday when you all are on earth. Sam comes over and they do dinner and play chess. Sam was just over last Saturday."

"What am I, adopt a friend?"

"Look, if you don't want to come just say so." Janet shook her head. "Take a deep breath."

Tegan jumped lightly as the cold bell of the stethoscope connected with her back. She waited until Janet pulled the earpieces out, "I didn't mean that."

"Didn't you?"

"No," She looked at her boots remorsefully. "I'm tired, I've got sand everywhere."

Janet stepped back as Tegan tousled her hair to prove her point. "You're getting sand on my clean infirmary floors."

"Are we done?" Tegan checked her watch.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told every other member of SG1, you're off for the rest of the day. I think you all had too much exposure to the heat." Even Sam was grumpy, Janet thought. "Drink plenty of fluids and get some quality rest."

"Fine," Tegan pulled her shirt back down and swung herself off the bed. "What time's dinner?"

"1800 hrs," Janet smiled.

"I'll bring desert."

"No, you'll bring a rested Tegan and nothing else. I mean it, you need to rest."

* * *

><p>"Cassie you want to let Tegan in?" Janet called from the kitchen when the doorbell rang at 5:45.<p>

"Hey!" Cassie opened the door and ran back into the living room to resume her game.

"I thought you wanted me to come to dinner?" Tegan asked as she passed through the living room, looking to the screen where Cassie was playing some kind of street racer game on her xbox.

"I did," Cassie stayed glued to the tv.

"Kids these days," Tegan mumbled as she entered the kitchen.

"Tell me about it." Janet dried her hands on a dishtowel.

"Can I help you?" Tegan asked under the scrutiny of Janet's gaze.

"Nope, it's almost done."

"Smells good."  
>"Does that mean you'll actually eat?"<p>

It was said lightly, but Tegan knew exactly what she meant, rather than start an argument she shrugged.

Janet took the cue, "You look better than you did earlier today."

Tegan held up a half empty bottle of water, "Third one and I took a two hour nap."

"I'm impressed."

"You should be."

* * *

><p>Janet turned down Tegan's offer to help with dishes and instead shooed both her and Cassie out to the backyard. When she joined them fifteen minutes later they were kicking a soccer ball around the yard. "I didn't know you played?"<p>

"Yeah, in fact I was offered a partial soccer scholarship to Stanford which was ranked 11th at the time," Tegan saw the ball flying towards her and head butted it back across the yard; "But UVA offered me a full scholarship for premed, and they were ranked 9th."

"Not a bad call," Janet mused.

"Where'd you do your premed?"

"UC Berkley."

"Hippie," Tegan ran after Cassie and tackled the ball away from her quickly kicking it away and yelling out: "GOAL!"

Janet watched them continue to play until it started to get too dark, "Cassie, it's time to call it a night. You need to get a shower and get to bed."

"Mom," The girl whined.

"You have school tomorrow."

"Will you sing to me tonight?"

"You've worn her out Cassie."

"I don't mind," Tegan threw her arm around Cassie as they walked inside. "As long as you don't sass your mom and do what she asks."

"Fine," Cassie smiled and ran upstairs.

* * *

><p>"Any requests?" Tegan sat her water bottle on a coaster when Cassie reappeared in the living room showered and ready for bed.<p>

"No," Cassie looked at Janet. "Mom?"

Janet shrugged, as Tegan started to tap her foot to the beat in her head. "'In the town where I was born, there lived a man who sailed to sea, and he told us of his life, in the land of submarines.'"

When she got to the chorus she started conducting, "Everybody, 'We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine, We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.'"

"Bed time Cass," Janet announced when they'd finished the final chorus and Tegan had slumped back onto the couch.

"Do I have to?"

"It's nine thirty," Janet double-checked her watch.

Tegan grinned at the interaction.

"What's so funny?" Cassie grumbled. "She's liable to send you to bed next."

The statement earned a chuckle from Tegan and a stern look from Janet.

"What? I'm going already."

"I go through this every night," Janet sighed when she heard Cassie's door shut.

"The joys of parenthood," Tegan surmised.

"I guess," Janet rested her head back on the couch.

"You look like you could use some rest yourself."

"No," Janet shook her head. "Some quite time with a good friend is all I need."

The silence that followed felt awkward to Tegan. She opened her mouth to speak, but there was nothing she could think of.

"I love you," Janet's voice softly broke into the stillness.

"No," Tegan immediately tensed and Janet's head popped up from its resting place.

"I don't mean," She reached out for Tegan's arm before she could stand.

"No, you can't say that." She hadn't registered anything after 'I love you.' She looked at the door, glanced at Janet for a second, before her eyes darted back to the door.

"I only mean…"

"It doesn't matter what you mean," Tegan pushed to her feet ignoring the grip of Janet's hand persuading her to stay. "You can't."

"I didn't mean…" Janet stuttered. The whole 'don't ask, don't tell' policy wasn't only in place to help military personnel but also to punish them. If this was misconstrued there would be no questions asked, she wouldn't be able to plead her case. "I'm not…"

It was too late; the resounding thud of the front door settling into its frame stopped any further explanation. Janet started to run after her, but something stopped her when she heard the revving of Tegan's motorcycle.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Janet stood nervously in the doorway to Tegan's lab as she peered up over the microscope at her. "We need to talk."<p>

"There's nothing to talk about," Tegan switched the microscope off and stretched her back out. She picked up the slide she'd been examining and moved to her desk.

"I'm not," Janet checked the position of the security camera.

"I never thought you were," Tegan kept her from having to say it aloud. "Like I said, there's nothing to talk about."

"I care about you."

"You're a doctor; they pay you to care about people." There was something sardonic in her tone.

"This goes deeper than that," Janet wished she would let her in. "I…"

"Don't say it," Tegan jumped out of her chair and brushed past her as she exited the lab.


	2. Need For Speed

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 2:**

**Need for Speed**

Tegan felt the wind flattening her shirt against her body, the vibrations of the road and engine coursed from her thighs to the rest of her body. She heard the siren before she saw the blue lights behind her. She looked down at the speedometer, and realized why she was being pursued. She slowed down and pulled over on the dusty shoulder of the almost deserted stretch of highway.

"Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am?" The thin highway patrolman walked up beside her.

"No sir," 'but I'm sure you'll tell me.' She left the second part unsaid.

"I clocked you at 132."

Tegan looked down at the speedometer on her bike and nodded, "I guess that's about right."

"In a rush to get somewhere?"

"No sir."

"I need you to hand me your keys and step off the bike."

Tegan settled her helmet behind her on the seat before pulling the keys from the ignition and relinquishing them to the brown eyed officer. She then gracefully dismounted her bike.

"I need to see your registration and driver's license."

Tegan pulled her wallet out of her back pocket and flipped it open. Her military ID fell out as she was pulling out her license. Before she could bend over to retrieve it, the officer picked it up. "Air Force?"  
>"Yes sir."<p>

"Where are you stationed?"

"Cheyenne Mountain."

"Really, my wife works in the infirmary there. Julie Copley."

"Yeah, she's taken care of me a time or two," Tegan smiled. "Us Air Force types, always tripping in the halls, or burning our hands on hot coffee."

"Yeah I always wondered why deep space radar needed an infirmary, but I know Julie stays busy when she's at work."

Tegan held out her license. "I guess you're going to keep this huh?"

"Nah," Officer Copley shook his head, and handed Tegan back her military ID, wondering if she was a pilot. "Just make sure you keep you're bike with in the speed limit from now on."

"Yes sir." Tegan took her ID back. "Thank you."

"Just don't make me regret it." He nodded before returning to his patrol car.

Tegan wasn't sure if she was really thankful or not. Loosing her license would be pretty bad, but spending a day or two in lock up might keep her from having to jump with SG1. She briefly wondered where the thought had come from before remounting her bike.

* * *

><p>"Major Kiser."<p>

"Yes." Tegan turned back to the security desk.

"Dr. Fraiser just called up to see if you had checked in yet. She asked me to send you her way."

"Thank you Airman." Tegan wished she could just turn around and go back home. She had no clue what she'd done now, but Janet requesting her presence this early in the day was never a good sign. She deluded herself into thinking Janet just wanted her medical opinion on something, of course the obstruction in the hallway completely blew that theory out of the water.

"Major Kiser," Teal'c stopped the thin redhead. "Dr. Fraiser has requested your presence in the infirmary."

"That's nice." Tegan started to step around the large Jaffa, as he side stepped to block her. "Teal'c step aside."

"I can not."

"You can." She argued.

"I have orders from Doctor Fraiser to escort you to the infirmary."

Had she been fully intending on reporting to Janet's office before heading to her own lab, Tegan quickly changed her mind. "And I have orders from General Hammond to report to my lab, and finish my current research."

"I do believe the chief medical officer's orders over ride General Hammond's when it comes to your health Major Kiser."

"Tell Janet you gave me the message, and I'll be down in two hours. I promise." The last part was added as an attempt to sway Teal'c.

"Doctor Fraiser wishes to see you now." He stepped forward.

"Later." Tegan stepped back colliding with a warm body. She turned to see Sam and decided not to apologize as the other Major opened her mouth to speak.

"Now! We're not taking no for an answer." Sam put a firm hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"Fine," Tegan sighed, there was nothing she could do but submit. She put her hands in the air. "I surrender."

"Glad to hear it, 'cause Teal'c here wasn't looking forward to carrying you down the hall kicking and screaming."

"Very funny," Tegan grumbled as she followed Teal'c down the hall toward the elevator. She had no doubt in her mind he would do it. As they passed one of the stairwells she eyed it, curious as to whether she could out run both Sam and the former first prime of Apophis.

"Don't even think about it," Sam spoke up.

"What?" Tegan didn't hide her irritation.

Teal'c glanced back at her. "You were thinking about eluding us by using the stairwell. It will not work."

"Fine," Tegan grumbled under her breath. She knew it was pointless to deny it.

"We have brought you Major Kiser as you have requested, Doctor Fraiser."

"Thank you Teal'c, Sam." Janet waited until they cleared out before speaking. "Shut the door and have a seat."

If Tegan hadn't already figured it out, the expression Janet wore told Tegan this meeting was anything but friendly. She closed the door with a silent click and made her way to the empty chair facing Janet's desk. She sat down, but didn't get too comfortable. It was like being called to the principal's office, not that she'd ever had the privilege.

"132," The anger in Janet's voice was almost palpable.

"That's not bad."

"Not bad?" Janet couldn't believe her ears.

Tegan figured that wasn't bad considering her height, even if it was bordering on the low side. "Well why don't you tell me how much you think I should weigh, and we'll go from there."

Under different circumstances the conversation would have been at least entertaining. Currently however, Janet failed to see the humor. "I'm not talking about your weight, although it could be part of the overall issue."

"Mind clueing me into what you are talking about?" Tegan pushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, looking completely lost.

"Yesterday, deserted road," Janet watched the light bulb flicker to life. "Blue flashing lights."

"Oh." Tegan's eyes fell for a second before the rage began to boil. "That's not any of your business."

"Julie thought it was. She called me last night after Steve told her about pulling you over."

"That's confidential."

"No, if he'd given you a ticket he shouldn't broadcast it. But he didn't, so he let Julie know. She's just concerned for you. I am concerned," Janet held up Tegan's medical file. "Do you know I haven't treated you for something as simple as the common cold, or even the flu? Every single medical report in here, aside from routine physicals and minus one or two other occasions, is related to injuries that could have been avoided."

"Avoided?" Tegan couldn't believe her own ears. Her voice raised an octave or two. "Avoided? How the hell do you figure?"

"Let's see." Janet searched her memory not needing to open the chart in front of her. "On your second mission you received a wound from a spear."

"I was saving Colonel O'Neill from being staked."

"You've been infected by a Goa'uld, beaten with in an inch of your life after turning yourself over to a Goa'uld who you knew had a price on your head. You've nearly frozen to death, nearly bled to death, shall I go on?"

"It's part of my job, you should understand what it's like."

"Some of it is, yes. But some of it is just carelessness."

"Careless? I'm careless…" Tegan shook her head. "You heartless little…"

Janet put her hand in the air, effectively cutting Tegan off. "Maybe I chose the wrong word. You're not invincible Tegan. You can't go around throwing yourself in front of projectiles, and speeding around on your motorcycle without ending up in a wheelchair or worse yet dead."

"I don't need this lecture from you." Her nostrils flared slightly.

"Well no one else is going to give it to you." Janet shot back.

"Damn it Janet! You're not my mother. You're my doctor, that's it!"

Janet looked at her watch, taking a minute to calm herself. If she allowed the conversation to continue in the direction it was headed, one of them was going to say something that could never be taken back. "I'll see you tomorrow morning for your pre-jump physical."

"Fine." Tegan jerked the door open and walked out.

* * *

><p>"Your weight is dropping again." Janet announced as she stepped around the privacy curtain Wednesday morning.<p>

Tegan shrugged. She really didn't have anything nice to say to the Doctor, and if she'd learned anything from watching Bambi as a child it was: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all."

Janet asked a couple of simple questions about her appetite, how she'd been eating, if she was feeling ok. She received non-committal grunts in response. She finished the exam and looked over Tegan's chart. "I'm not sure I should let you jump."

"I'm fine." Tegan all but growled.

"Oh, so you can speak."

Tegan folded her arms across her chest and grunted.

"Still mad at me?"

"I don't see where it's any of your concern." Tegan's eyes narrowed on the doctor's petite frame. It was the only thing diminutive about the woman.

"Because friends should care when their friends are taking needless risks."

"Needless?"

"132 miles an hour is needless, it's worse than needless, it's reckless."

"So am I cleared to jump or not?" Tegan blatantly changed the subject at hand.

"You're weight is down."

"So you said." Tegan responded coolly.

"It's down enough I could justify grounding you."

"Like I said I feel fine."

"I can count your ribs through your t-shirt."

"No you can't," Tegan shook her head in disagreement. Her t-shirts weren't that tight.

"You're five pounds underweight."

"You're going to keep me from jumping for five pounds?"

"No," Janet warned. "But you lose so much as half a pound more and I will, along with a recommendation that you be given an evaluation to rule out anorexia."

"Whatever." Tegan hopped up off the bed.

"I'm serious." Janet responded.

"And I'm not anorexic." It was about the only thing she was sure of anymore, and somehow Janet doubted she was lying about that.

"I'll see you when you get back."

"I'm sure you will." Tegan's tone was acidic as she started to walk toward the door.

"What are you so afraid of?" Janet inquired, stopping the young woman in her tracks.

"I fear nothing." Tegan responded without turning to face her friend.

"I don't believe you."

Tegan shrugged and left to get ready for her jump to PX2-901.

* * *

><p>With in forty minutes of stepping onto the humid jungle planet Tegan heard the almost silent wheezes escaping from the body to her right. She turned to look at Daniel. "Are you alright?"<p>

"I'm fine." He sneezed again for the fifth time in as many minutes.

"Did you take your antihistamine this morning?" She tried not to sound like she was talking to a child.

"Just like every morning." Daniel stopped walking, feeling the tightness in his chest. He hadn't had an asthma attack since he was twelve.

Tegan found her stethoscope and pulled it out of her bag, as she did an epi-injector fell out. Not entirely believing in fate, she picked it up and looked at Daniel who was already beginning to turn an interesting shade of gray. "Drop your pants buddy."

Daniel did as he was told, knowing this was going down hill fast. As Tegan gave the injection she heard Sam yelp. "I didn't even stick you."

Reaching up with one hand to check Daniel's pulse she turned to look at Sam.

"Something just bit me." Sam looked at the back of her hand that was already beginning to whelp.

"I got it." Jack closed his hands over the suspect bug. "Ouch! Damn it!"

"Colonel?" Tegan pulled her stethoscope to her ears noting he wasn't in any immediate danger. "Teal'c there's a specimen cup in my bag. Please put the bug in there before he can do any more damage to the Colonel."

"Indeed." The Jaffa rummaged through the bag as Tegan listened to Daniel's lungs.

"Daniel?" She pulled the earpieces free.

"I'm ok." He looked like he'd just run a 50k marathon.

"Don't do that to me again, ok?" She smiled lightly. "I need you to stay put while I check on Carter and O'Neill."

Daniel nodded and wiped the moisture from his forehead.

"Sam?"

"I'm fine. It's just a bug bite."

"Just a bug bite!" Jack scoffed. "It didn't feel like any bug bite I've ever encountered."

"It's an alien bug sir." Tegan held out her hand for the specimen.

"It looked like a beetle to me." Jack held up his hand revealing two bites similar to Sam's.

"You killed it sir." Tegan handed the cup back to Teal'c and walked over to look at Jack's hand. "Sir, we need to head back to the SGC."

"They're just bug bites." He shrugged.

"Maybe, but Daniel needs to be in the infirmary where he can be monitored."

"Oh, yeah." Jack agreed.

* * *

><p>Janet met them in the gate room. She was already trying to find injuries on Major Kiser from where she stood. "What's going on?"<p>

"With in a matter of thirty seconds, Daniel went into anaphylactic shock from what I still haven't ascertained;" She could feel the scrutiny of Janet's gaze, but ignored the inspection. "Major Carter was bitten by a beetle like insect, Colonel O'Neill trapped said insect which proceeded to bite him twice before he managed to kill it. And believe it or not, Teal'c and I are as good as we were two hours ago."

"Indeed." Teal'c backed Tegan's statement up.

"I gave Daniel a standard injection of epinephrine, but he's going to need to be monitored for twenty-four hours. I also think standard isolation is in order for Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill until I can get a better understanding of what bit them."

"I agree." General Hammond spoke from behind Janet.

"I'll take over their care from here." Janet motioned toward the SG1 members in question.

"Sir," Tegan directed her comments to the General. "There really isn't any more to report at this time. With your permission, I'd like to take this to the lab and…"

"Say no more Major, permission granted."

"Thank you, sir."

Five hours later, after reporting to General Hammond, Tegan entered the infirmary to deliver the good news. "You're both free to go."

"What was it?" Jack asked.

"A beetle and nothing more," Tegan turned to see Janet enter the infirmary. "Just the person I was looking for."

Jack glanced at Sam, they'd both felt the air around Tegan change.

"I've reported to General Hammond and both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter are fine. There was nothing different in the chemical makeup of the beetle than that of the scarab beetle found here on earth."

"That's good to hear." Janet looked at her watch. "I'm on my way to an interview off-base, do you mind?"

"No. Go ahead. I'll discharge them."

* * *

><p>The next morning Tegan was in her lab when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in."<p>

"Hey."

Tegan looked up to see Janet standing there, and nodded her greeting.

"You didn't have to finish up the reports."

Tegan shrugged, and looked back into the microscope.

"I do appreciate it though."

"No problem." Tegan adjusted the lens. "Are you looking for a new job?"

"No," Janet thought that would currently make Tegan's day. "They finally approved another doctor on day shift."

"That's good."

"I'm still going to need your expertise though."

Tegan pulled back from the scope and nodded. "Take a look."

Janet walked over and peered into the microscope. "What am I looking at?"

"You're currently looking at the equivalent of a jaw muscle in the Scarabeus Cristatus. I had a specimen over-nighted from an entomologist I know who's doing field work in Egypt. And over here," Tegan pointed to the other microscope. "Is the specimen from PX2-901."

"The muscle is more pronounced." Janet pulled back.

"Yeah. I think it has to do with the change in the diet. The foliage on PX2-901 was denser and stronger than anything I've read about or even seen here."

"Interesting, so you think its ancestors just jumped on a spaceship and migrated several hundred light years to another planet."

"You make it sound like I'm crazy."

"You didn't see any signs of civilization on the planet." Janet pointed out.

"We traveled maybe three miles from the gate, not to mention the fact there was a Stargate present."

Janet stepped back and nodded. "Sam's coming over for dinner tonight, do you want to join us?"

"No," Tegan slipped out of her professionalism for a minute. "I'm good."

"I'm making a pot roast," It was Janet's way of making a truce. She couldn't apologize or even take back what was said in her office a few days earlier. Not that she wanted to if she could, someone had to broach the subject. Unfortunately that made Janet the bad guy.

"They're having Salisbury Steak in the mess hall."

"I didn't think you liked Salisbury Steak."

"I don't." Tegan pulled the specimens out from under her microscopes.

"You need to eat."

"See, this is why I'm not coming over tonight." Tegan turned to look at the shorter woman. "Despite what you might think, I am capable of taking care of myself. I've done it for the last twenty odd years."

"It was just a dinner invitation." Janet backed down. "It still stands if you should change your mind. Cassie would love to see you."

"Don't bring Cassie into this."

"I was just saying…"

"I heard you. Now if you don't mind, I have a report to write up."

Janet headed for the door stopping short. "I thought you might like to know I discharged Daniel this morning."


	3. Tea Parties, Hangovers & Bullfrog Trust

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 3:**

**Tea Parties, Hangovers and Bullfrog Trust Funds  
><strong>

In the week and a half that followed Tegan avoided Janet as much as possible, which was incredibly easy considering SG1 had somehow managed to not be scheduled for any trips through the Stargate. Although the thought had occurred to her that Janet hadn't even poked her head into her lab in this time. Not that she really cared.

"Are you jumping with us?" Colonel O'Neill pushed the door open to the lab without even knocking.

"Sir?" Tegan looked up from her microscope, unaware that it was the following morning.

"You missed your ten o'clock with Dr. Frasier. Warner's covering for her while she and General Hammond discuss a potential new doc. Warner's waiting for you; we're scheduled to leave in an hour."

Tegan looked at her watch.

"Were you here all night?"

Tegan looked around her as she shrugged. "I guess so."

"You guess?"

"Time just got away from me sir. I'll be ready in an hour sir."

"Alright."

* * *

><p>"I guess the meeting with General Hammond didn't take as long as expected." Tegan tried to hide her disappointment.<p>

"I warned you." Janet looked down at the chart in her hand. "Half a pound and I would ground you."

"It's not like I'm flying Dr. Fraiser." Tegan slipped easily back into using titles when she was on the defensive.

"I'm not budging this time," Janet put her foot down.

"You're being unreasonable."

"Is it unreasonable to be concerned about the welfare of the people under my care?"

"Yes." Tegan wrinkled her forehead knowing that wasn't the right answer. "I mean no. But I'm perfectly healthy."

"And I disagree. You're now seven pounds underweight. You were only five during your last pre-mission physical."

"I'm eating. Just because I didn't go to your house for dinner doesn't mean I'm not eating."

"It's not just that."

"I'm not self-destructive. You can ask any of my teammates. It's just that when I'm on a mission…"

"I know. Their well-being comes first." Janet had already talked briefly with Sam and Jack. "But some of your actions off base speak louder than words."

"It was one time, for crying out loud."

"Why do you want to go on this mission so badly, when a couple missions ago you all but dared me to keep you from jumping?"

"Because if I don't go the mission will have to be postponed."

Janet had forgotten Sam and Daniel were off on another mission, and Teal'c was on vacation. She glanced over her notes.

"Look, if it'll make you happy I'll even willingly submit to a psyche evaluation when I return."

"I don't think you're crazy." Janet put her hand on Tegan's knee. "Well, at least not in anyway a psychologist could help."

"So you'll let me jump."

"Against my better judgment."

* * *

><p>(sorry if this is written in a totally different voice, it was written at a different time then the rest of the story, and goes back to some of my grass roots style.)<p>

She didn't feel the pain, at least not at first. She felt taunt muscles supporting her, the rhythmic breathing, his heart beating against her arm. She didn't remember where she was, or why she was there. In that moment, cradled against his chest, she felt safe. It was fleeting.

"Greg?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

He wasn't sure he'd actually heard her, but her breathing pattern had changed, she must be coming to. "Kiser?"

It was one word, one painfully jarring word. She tried to contain the raw sob that bubbled in her chest. She was Kiser, Major Kiser the strong warrior who never let anything get past her titanium and naquadah reinforced barrier. It was a difficult task keeping everyone out, and keeping the emotions, the pain, the past hidden away. She was Dr. Kiser, compassionate, extremely intelligent. As both a major and a doctor most would call her brilliant, the best addition to the SGC since, Major Samantha Carter and Dr. Janet Fraiser.

She choked on the sound as it came out of her, foreign to her ears. For that brief minute, she was Tegan, scared, unloved, and in pain.

"Kiser?" He spoke again when the sound subsided, worry thick in his voice.

"Sir?" She pushed away, willing her eyes to open. "I'm fine."

He heard the quiver in her voice as she scrambled out of his embrace. He let out a quiet moan, but not quiet enough.

"You're injured sir." Dr. Kiser took over her actions, blocking her own injuries out.

"Just a few bruised ribs, nothing I can't handle." He swatted lightly at her hands.

"Colonel, I need to check you over."

"I'm fine, Doctor." He bit out the last word. "Unlike you Major, you've got some serious injuries."

"No sir." She took a deep breath immediately regretting the action as something tore at her side.

He saw it, she didn't want him to. He like the rest of his team, and the good Dr. Fraiser had been learning to read even the most infinitesimal changes. The shifting of greens even in the ill lit prison allowed him to see her pain before she shoved it even deeper inside the annals of her mind. "You've got a laceration to your side. I did the best I could to stop the bleeding and dress it under the circumstances."

That explained the lack of his field jacket. She glanced down, her stomach revolting at the thought of what might be growing in the wound.

"I don't know how deep it is, but you lost a fair amount of blood."

"A fair amount?" She smiled lightly, he was Jack O'Neill after all.

"Alright," He waved his hand to a dark puddle trying to congeal on the floor. "A lot of blood, that's only what you lost here."

"Here?" She remembered that she didn't know where here was.

"Yes, this cell that's the size of a dog kennel."

"Exactly how did we get here sir?"

"Tea party?"

"Alice in wonderland?" Her brow wrinkled. "Where's the rest of SG1?"

"You really don't remember do you?" He leaned forward his ribs protesting.

Tegan closed her eyes and fell back against the wall. "Nirrti?"

"That's the last thing you remember?" He frowned, this wasn't good. The last time they'd encountered the Goa'uld hell bent on torturing SG1's youngest member was months ago.

"No." She shook her head slowly and made mental note not to do it again. "Janet? I mean, Dr. Fraiser? Greg?"  
>"Greg?" Jack was lost, not that this was anything new, but Tegan was usually so on top of the game.<p>

"No one," Tegan realized Jack didn't know Greg, come to think of it, she shouldn't think about him right now. "She's… mad at me."

"She?" His eyebrows rose suddenly. "Doc? She's concerned."

Her head throbbed. "How long was I out?"

Jack flipped the cover up on his watch face and checked the time. "A couple hours by my guestimation."

"Tea?"

"I think I'll pass." He made a face.

"No sir, there was something in it." The light bulb clicked. "I remember now."

"Right, we were offered tea."

"Sam and Daniel, they're with SG5 on P4…" Fire engulfed her brain making it impossible to remember the right sequence of numbers.

"Something or other," He spun his hand in the air as if conjuring magic.

"And Teal'c is on leave to Chu'lak."

"So," He raised his eyebrows again. "Do you remember what happened to us?"

"You drank the tea."

"And you didn't," He rolled his eyes. "You're always such a party pooper."

"Yeah well, after half a cup full you fell out of your chair. I stood up and…" She shook her head.

"Greg." Jack smiled lightly.

"Greg?" She looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

"You woke up here, said Greg and…" He brushed his hand in the air at an imaginary butterfly.

"I didn't say Greg."

"Whatever?"

"Sir?"

"Yes Major?"

"How are we going to get out of here?"

He thought for a minute, wondering why they always asked him that question. Just because he was their commanding officer, and a Colonel didn't mean he automatically came programmed with an escape plan for every mission run amuck. Which added up to a lot of missions lately, ok if he admitted it to himself it was a rare occurrence when a mission actually went as planned.

"I don't know." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "We've got about an hour before General Hammond expects us to report in."

"So, we're just going to wait to be rescued?"

"I don't think you're in any shape to try escaping."

"I told you, I'm fine sir."

"You think?" He stood up with minimal discomfort, and she followed suit. Granted she was a little slower.

"I kn…" He reached out and touched her side, the pain so intense she fell unconscious into his waiting arms.

"That's what I thought." He leaned against the wall, letting their combined weight pull him to the floor where he cradled her in his arms. He'd never had a daughter, and he missed his son every second of every day.

* * *

><p>"It's SG3 sir."<p>

"Open the iris." General Hammond stood anxiously waiting for the group to step through the event horizon. He wasn't as hopeful as he wished. There was no radio transmission requesting a medical team, which meant one of two things. Either they found Colonel O'Neill and Major Kiser uninjured, or… His chest deflated as all four members of SG3 stepped onto the ramp. When Colonel Jacobs shook his head no, General Hammond gave him a solitary nod and let his shoulders slump.

* * *

><p>"Janet?" Tegan's voice cracked in the silence.<p>

"It's still just us." Jack quieted her.

"Sir?" She shifted, her position a feeling of déjà vu. Fortunately this time she knew it was Jack, and she found some comfort in that. Still she extracted herself from his arms and moved to the hard floor beside him.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten again?" He helped her readjust her location as best he could. The room they'd been locked in wouldn't have been very accommodating for one person, let alone two.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

"My side," She closed her eyes, in her head she reasoned if he couldn't see her eyes he wouldn't worry.

"You're not glowing under there are you Kiser?"

"No sir." She sighed wondering if death would be preferable to the pain in her head and side. "And you're avoiding my question."

"Just checking." He shrugged, not that it mattered; she couldn't see him through her eyelids. "I wanted to prove you weren't up to the task of escaping."

"Point made." She grimaced.

"Kiser?"

"Sir?"

"You ok?" He turned his head to look at her more fully, she nodded once and took a sharp breath. "Would you lie to me?"

She opened her eyes partway and looked at him. "Sir?"

"If I asked you right now how bad your injuries were would you lie to me?"

"No sir."

"Why do you do it?" He surprised himself by not asking about her injuries, but then again, he didn't really want to know if she was going to die while they were a million light years from earth.

"Do what sir?"

"Always say you're fine, or that you're ok when you're not?" He watched her eyes drift shut. Holding them open took too much strength. "Why do you lie about it?"

"I've never lied to you, sir." She licked her bottom lip in thought. "At least not knowingly."

He watched her take several ragged breaths before she continued. "Fine is relative sir."

"Relative to?"

"Death." Her voice lacked any sarcasm.

"What about that time you were coughing up blood? You lied to me then."

"No sir." She struggled to put her thoughts together. "You asked if I was injured, and I wasn't."

"In other words I didn't ask the right question?"

"You're catching," Her voice hitched in her throat and her hand found her side. "on."

"You're warm." He felt the heat radiating through her uniform and his onto his leg.

"Hmmm?" She tried to lift her head.

* * *

><p>"We came back as soon as we got word." Sam spoke as the wormhole disengaged from behind her and Daniel.<p>

"SG3 didn't find any sign of them." General Hammond stood next to Teal'c at the bottom of the ramp. "The Rah-nas deny any knowledge of seeing either of them, despite Major Kiser reporting back two days ago that they had made contact."

"We'd like to check it out." Sam spoke for Teal'c without talking to him first.

"Indeed." He confirmed her assumption.

"Knowing Jack, he wasn't diplomatic and they threw them in some hole to think about it." Daniel was hopeful.

"I sure hope that's all it is son." General Hammond looked to Sam. "How soon can you be ready to leave again?"

"I'm ready to go now sir."

"I think we should shower first." Daniel wrinkled his nose. "They might not be too friendly the way we smell right now."

"Thirty-minutes sir?"

"Of course Major."

* * *

><p>"Sir?"<p>

He angled his head surprised to see green orbs staring back at him. Something shifted in those pools, something he couldn't read, something that caused his very bowels to clench in fear. "Yes?"

"Can you escape?"

"No, we've been through this."

"No sir," She lifted her head off the wall. "There has to be a way out."

"It's called a door." He followed her gaze to the only possible escape, barred doors. "And it's locked."

"You're sure?"

"Would you throw someone you drugged into an unlocked cell?"

"I wasn't drugged." She argued weakly, although that wasn't the point.

"No," He chuckled dryly. "You were just hit over the head a little too hard."

"My head's," a frustrated burst of air exited her lungs. She could lie; really lie to him this once. What did it matter?

"That's what I thought." He didn't give her a chance to formulate what she could later deduce had truth behind it. "I know you're not dead Kiser."

"No, sir." 'Not yet.' She left the last part unsaid, time was running out, she didn't need to tell him that. "You can escape."

"No."

"Go back to the…" Her brow wrinkled in thought, she couldn't find the right letters, the right name.

"The SGC?" His eyes worried over her.

That was it. "And get help."

"I'm not leaving you here."

* * *

><p>"They are lying." Teal'c had restrained himself as long as he could.<p>

"Why did they invite us for Tea?" Sam looked at Daniel.

"I uh?" He readjusted his glasses as if that would help him find an answer. "I don't know."

"Did you see the blood stain?" Sam didn't want to think about it, but she had to.

"You think they are dead, Major Carter."

Sam shook her head.

"It was a lot of blood." Daniel surmised.

"For one person," Sam looked around hoping someone would show up on the dirt street and lead them to where ever Jack and Tegan were.

"There was only one large stain." Teal'c's expression remained the same.

"You think one of them is dead."

"Would you two stop saying that word!" She barked. "I think one of them is injured."

"Which one?"

Sam looked at Daniel for a minute, her gut told her one thing, her mouth said another. "The Colonel, it's probably minor."

"That was not a minor blood stain Major Carter."

Daniel looked at Teal'c and then back to Sam. "What time was Tea?"

"Two hours." She looked around again; there wasn't a single person moving about outside. "Let's snoop around, see what we can find until then"

* * *

><p>She was shaking, and he could see the perspiration glistening on her upper lip and forehead. He reached up to touch her forehead, and she rolled her head away. He reminded himself that was a good sign. "Kiser?"<p>

"Sir?"

"Tell me your fine." He urged.

"Sir?"

"I want to know you're not dead." He silently begged her to lie to him. He welcomed the fantasy.

"I'm…"

He watched first one tear, and then another escape from under closed lids. She squeezed them tighter, but it didn't keep more from following, leaving a trail down her crimsoned cheeks. "Kiser?"

"I want…"

"Tell me what you want Kiser." He took her hand in his, trying to offer her strength, or trying to steal it from her. It scared him to see her like this. Sure she had cried out in agony after the Nirrti torture sessions, but he'd never seen her cry. Carter cried, on rare occasion. Kiser didn't.

"Tegan," Her lower lip quivered.

"Ok, tell me what you want Tegan."

"To go home."

"Me too Tiki, me too." He watched her for a minute, the slightest hint of a smile pulled at one corner of her mouth. "What else?"

"Surf a Tsunami."

Jack couldn't help but grin at the thought of her riding out the biggest most dangerous wave ever. "Traveling through the Stargate isn't enough?"

"No sir." Her teeth chattered. "Sir?"

"Yeah Tiki?"

"I don't," She gasped, pain assaulted her senses but she couldn't discern from where. "Have a will."

"You don't need one, you're going to be…"

"Fine?" She choked on the irony of the word. She wanted to be fine, she couldn't say that though. Had she ever been fine? For one second of her life, had she ever really been fine?

"Yes, you're going to be fine. And not just fine by your definition."

"I want," She didn't have the energy to waste on arguing about probability, besides Sam was better at explaining probability than she was. "Cassie…"

He waited, watching her strength fail her.

"Trust fund."

"You have a trust fund?" He squeezed her hand.

"Yes." She tried to lift her head from the wall.

"You want Cassie to have it?" He felt her tense against his side.

"Yes."

Her head sagged onto his shoulder, and he flashed back to a time or two when Sam's had done the same. He'd ordered her to rest while in the confines of a slightly larger, and definitely airier cell. Although he wasn't sure it wasn't as musty. He'd almost lost Sam that time.

"Tired." Tegan's whisper drew him back to the present time.

"Talk to me Tiki." His mind told him if she stayed conscious she couldn't die.

"Sing."

"Sing?" He shook his head. "I can't sing."

"I know, but can't sleep."

"You're afraid if you go to sleep, you won't…" Although he'd already thought it, he couldn't say it aloud.

So she did. "Wake up."

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog."


	4. Bullfrogs and Pool Parties

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 4:**

**Bullfrogs and Pool Parties**

"Was a good friend of mine."

Teal'c threw his hand in the air effectively silencing the group.

"Never understood a single thing he said…"

"Do you hear that?" Sam looked to Daniel knowing the Jaffa had heard the muffled sounds.

"I believe it is Colonel O'Neill, singing."

"If you can call that singing," Daniel quipped.

"Sir!" Sam yelled. "Sir, Can you hear me?"

"Carter!" Jack felt Tegan's body flinch.

"Sir, where are you?"  
>"Hell if I know." He unceremoniously pushed Tegan off his shoulder and stood, there was no time for pleasantries if they were going to get her off the planet alive.<p>

"Keep talking sir, I think we're getting closer to you."

"What do you want me to say?"  
>"Why don't you finish your song?" Daniel shrugged at Sam with his eyebrows. "But I helped him drink his wine."<p>

Jack smiled. "Joy to the world, all the boys and girls now…"

He repeated the chorus a third time before he heard Sam's voice, "Sir you can stop now."

"Carter, what took you so long?"

She ignored his question and looked to the pale familiar figure slumped against the wall. "How is she?"

"Not good Carter, not good."

"If you will step back I will attempt to free you." Teal's pointed his staff weapon at the door's lock, and fired. The door instantaneously swung inward hitting Jack's boot.

"Way to go Teal'c." Jack turned back to Tegan. "Kiser?"

Her eyelids fluttered and she grunted her response.

"The team's all here, we're going to get you home."

"Cassie," The word struck a cord deep in Jack's core. "Fund."

"What's she talking about sir?"

"Nothing Carter," He knelt beside Tegan grabbed her shoulders and shook her relentlessly.

"Hurts," Her eyelids flew open in pain.

"Good." Jack bit out. "Now listen to me, you're not going to die on me. Do you hear me?"

"Sorry."

"You're damn right you're sorry, now get to your feet!"

"Colonel?" Sam stepped forward pretty sure he'd lost his junk food loving mind.

"I said get up!" He stood and watched as Tegan struggled to her feet. The makeshift dressing he'd applied earlier was jarred loose by her clumsy movements, a trail of blood began to seep out from underneath it.

"Jack?" This time it was Daniel who questioned him.

"She's going to walk out of here on her own." Jack's eyes never left hers. "Aren't you Kiser?"

"Yes, sir." There was no hesitation, only a resolute force behind her answer.

"Good," He turned back to Sam ignoring her inquisitive gaze. "Let's get out of here."

"Yes, sir." She handed him her P-90 while Daniel relinquished the much lighter zat gun to Tegan.

They made it to the middle of the dusty town, dark ominous clouds gathered overhead casting errie shadows on the group of angry towns people who were assembling in the streets. Teal'c fired his staff weapon a few feet in front of the small crowd. "Do not attempt to encroach further."

"We don't mean you any harm." It was the gangly bald man who'd offered them Tea.

"Like hell you don't." Jack brandished his weapon.

"Let them go," A younger version of the man put his hand up to the crowd. "They are of no use to us."

The team continued out of town, and finally Sam spoke. "Sir, that was just a little too easy?"

"You think Carter?" His eyes shifted around him.

"We are not being pursued." Teal'c announced as Major Kiser stumbled slightly.

""Kiser?"

"Sir?"

"We're almost there." His voice held a compassion it hadn't earlier. He watched her carefully as the Stargate grew larger on the horizon. "Only another hundred yards and we'll be home."

Sam watched as she stumbled again, this time her body was unable to compensate as her legs gave out. To her surprise Jack caught the young major before she hit the ground, letting out a quiet grunt himself as the sky tore open drenching them.

* * *

><p>Janet had run to the gate room when she'd heard the Klaxon's announcing an unscheduled off world activation. Silently she hoped her services wouldn't be needed but she'd grabbed several medics on the way knowing her gut was never wrong.<p>

General Hammond had beaten her there by a few seconds, and they were both relieved to hear Sgt. Adams voice declaring it was SG1. "Open the Iris."

Daniel stepped through the gate first turning back to wait for the rest of his team. Jack was next with Tegan cradled in his arms. They were dripping wet and the pain in his chest was growing by the second. "Daniel a hand."

Sam and Teal'c stepped through last as Jack laid the unconscious Tegan on the ramp. "She's got a laceration to her side, and I think she's got a fever doc."

He stepped back as Janet pulled the bloodied shirt back.

"I didn't have much to work with and it came loose."

"You did fine sir." Skilled fingers quickly found a pulse point on the slender ivory neck. As she suspected it was weak and thready. She stood back up as the medics rolled a gurney up the ramp. "Get her to the infirmary, I want a bag of five percent dextrose started. She should still have a couple units of autologous blood in the bank. Get OR1 ready, I need to get a better look at that wound, but she may need surgery.

"Colonel?" Janet turned to face him.

Jack watched the whirlwind of activity. "Yeah doc?"

"Were you injured?"

He started to shake his head no. "My ribs, nothing major. I think I hit them on a chair or something when I was drugged."

"Drugged?" Janet sighed. "Major Kiser?"

"She wasn't drugged," He thought for a second. "I don't think."

"I want a full toxicology panel run on both of them." Janet turned to the medic who was approaching Jack. "And wake Dr. Monroe, I'm going to need her assistance."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

><p>"You're free to go."<p>

"Thanks." Jack smiled at the medic who'd been tending him as Janet and Paige wheeled Tegan into the infirmary.

"How's she doing Doc?" He gestured to Tegan with his head.

"We cleaned the wound as best we could, the blade didn't breach the peritoneum."

"In other words, she's pretty lucky." Paige put it in simple terms for him, as he registered who she was.

"She did lose a lot of blood, and has a nasty infection, and I'm afraid it's already gotten into her blood stream." Janet sighed. "We can't identify the bacterium, so I've started her on a broad spectrum antibiotic, and we're hoping for the best."

"We all are." General Hammond spoke from behind her. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"Just a cracked rib General."

"I'd like to debrief when you're discharged."

"I'll be right there sir."

"Ja…" She heard the familiar beeping of medical equipment and before she could finish the word she felt someone squeeze her hand.

"I'm right here," Janet affirmed as she released her fingers from her grasp and reached for her radial pulse.

Tegan glanced up at the blood hanging from the IV pole, "First unit?"

"Second," She watched Tegan's features cloud with concern. "What?"

"Colonel O'Neill, he was drugged."

"He told us," She nodded. "But whatever it was, it had cleared his system already. His tox screen was normal, as was yours."

"How'd I," Tegan lifted her head and took in the infirmary. "Get here?"

"Sam, Daniel and Teal'c found you and Colonel O'Neill, but you'd have to get the full story from one of them." Janet flipped open Tegan's chart. "Colonel O'Neill did say you walked back to the gate before collapsing, you don't remember?"

"No."

"What's the last thing you do remember?" Janet looked at her.

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog."

Janet's brow wrinkled in confusion that melted into a half smile as she heard Jack, "was a good friend of mine."

"Colonel, patients are trying to rest," She turned and playfully admonished him despite Tegan being the only patient.

"How's she doing Doc?"

"I'm fine," She gave him a tired smile.

"She's going to be here for a couple days minimum."

"Days?"

"Do you know how lucky you are to be alive at this point?" Janet turned back to face her.

"Actually," Tegan thought for a second before closing her eyes. "I do."

"How is she?"

Tegan opened her eyes sometime later to find Paige standing at the foot of her bed inquiring about her. "Paige? What are you doing here?"

Janet smiled, "Dr. Monroe is the newest edition to our medical staff."

"Is that why my sutures look like someone was sewing up a corpse?" Tegan pointed to her wound that was hidden by gauze, her gown and a sheet.

"It's a good thing you're in that bed," Paige didn't miss a beat.

* * *

><p>Janet rounded the curtain as Tegan finished pulling her shirt over her head. "I'd like for you to stay with…"<p>

"No," Tegan interrupted. "My hemoglobin is back to normal, my lab work looks great and I can take care of myself."

"I didn't say you couldn't," She tossed Tegan's chart on the foot of the bed. "You're on medical leave until the sutures come out."

"You already told me."

"Are you sure you don't need anything for pain?"

"I've got Tylenol, Advil, and Aspirin at home."

"It was a deep wound you know."

"Are you also going to remind me how I almost bled to death?"

"Well you did."

"I was there, and I was doing my job. I didn't ask to be stabbed or hit over the head anymore than Jac…" She stuttered, "Colonel O'Neill asked to be given spiked tea."

"I didn't say anything," Janet threw her hands up in surrender.

"I just wanted to clarify so you wouldn't beat me over the head with it in six months time."

"Is it so bad that someone cares about you?"

"Are we done here?"

"You're free to go," Janet jerked the chart up.

"Cookout, my place, noon tomorrow," Jack was waiting for Tegan outside the infirmary after she'd had her sutures removed. "Sam's bringing drinks and you can bring dessert. Don't forget your bathing suit."

"What are we celebrating?" Tegan asked while giving Sam a strange look.

"Being alive Kiser, being alive," It was also Memorial Day weekend and warm enough to get in the pool.

"I second that one." Sam grinned.

"So I can count you both in?"

"I guess so." Tegan called back.

* * *

><p>She stood on the deck surrounding Jack's in ground pool wearing an olive t-shirt and a pair of black Umbro shorts. They were covering an olive green one piece speedo she had no intention of showing. Sam was in the deep end, sporting a sleek blue one piece. She had just shown Teal'c how to do a cannon ball, and now he was following suit, all the while Tegan hoped he managed to keep his board shorts around his waist. Daniel was in the shallow end hoping he could stay on his float and not lose his beer as Teal'c made his big splash. It was a combination belly flop cannon ball.<p>

Jack chucked at the kids having fun from his spot behind the grill. He'd shed his shirt and stood there with shades and a pair of red 'I'm the lifeguard' trunks. "Tegan why don't you hop in, it's hotter than hell out here."

"I'm good." She called back over her shoulder wiping the sweat from her upper lip, she looked up to see Janet stepping through the glass patio door to join them. The brunette was wearing a bikini top with tropical flowers and light green shorts covered the bottoms.

"You look hot to me." His voice sounded oddly closer than it had seconds ago, and before Tegan had a chance to react she was air born.

Hands and legs splayed in the air for a split second before she thought enough to pull them in on herself. Her feet touched the bottom of the deep end as the refreshing water forced the air from her lungs. She propelled herself to the surface and realized she'd lost the shirt on the way down.

Red hair emerged to reveal an almost equally red face. Janet knew immediately the blush wasn't entirely an angry one. "Colonel."

"What?" He held his hands up apologetically. "You can't have a pool party without throwing someone in."

"Next time, throw me in." Janet watched Tegan pull herself out of the pool and quickly disappear into the house.

"I thought she'd be a good sport about it." Jack defended himself, still not seeing what the big deal was.

"I'll go check on her." Sam clung to the edge of the pool.

"No, you're all wet. I'll do it." Janet sat her Coke on the table and headed back inside.

"Tell her I'm sorry, and the steaks are done." Jack yelled after her.

* * *

><p>"Tegan?" Janet knocked on the bathroom door, after following the trail of wet footprints down the hall.<p>

Tegan sniffed and looked up to make sure she'd locked the door. "Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"No, I'm fine." Her voice cracked and she kicked herself for being so upset over a childish stunt. Normally she would have laughed it off, and she thought logically it really shouldn't be a big deal.

"Please?"

Tegan fished keys out of a wet pocket and walked to the door. She pulled the door open and looked at the shorter woman. "Tell Jack no hard feelings, but my stomach's upset and I'm going home."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Janet asked.

"Yeah, just don't feel much like eating." Tegan slid past Janet's diminutive frame and exited through the front door. Janet was really the last person she wanted to talk to about anything personal at the moment.

Janet stood there for several minutes until the sound of Tegan's Ducati could no longer be heard. When she started to head back outside, Jack came in. "She left?"

"Yeah." Janet looked up at him. "She said to tell you she's not mad. Her stomach was upset so she headed home."

"I really didn't mean to upset her."

"I know," Janet nodded. "I think she knows too."

"Well, your steak is getting cold." He led the way back out to the patio.

"Tegan leave?" Sam asked already knowing the answer.

Janet nodded, and noticed her wet shirt hanging on the back of a chair with her helmet and shoes beside it. "She wasn't feeling too good."

"She should not ride her motorcycle with out her protective gear." Teal'c pointed out.

"I'll take it by on my way home." Sam offered.


	5. Shattered Mirrors

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 5:**

**Shattered Mirrors**

Sam waited patiently for Tegan to open the door and was surprised to see her standing there in a pair of black watch plaid satin shorts and a black spaghetti strapped tank. She realized she'd been gawking about the time Tegan stepped back and wrapped her arms around her shoulders trying to hide the scars that mapped her exposed skin.

"Sorry." Sam's eyebrows rose apologetically on the word. "I…uh… I…"

Tegan stretched her right hand behind the door and pulled a rain-slicker off the coat rack. She slid into it and looked at Sam expectantly.

Sam stopped stuttering in favor of silence, not really sure what to say. She hadn't been staring at the scars, in fact far from it. She had merely been admiring the sheer beauty of the woman in front of her. The outfit had caught Sam completely off guard, and now she didn't know how to make up for it. "You…uh… you're gonna get hot in that plastic raincoat."

Tegan shrugged. "I should've grabbed my robe before I came to the door."

"Why?" Sam asked without thinking. Something she constantly found herself doing around the redhead.

"You saw why." Tegan pinned her with a silent glare.

"I didn't see anything that needed covered up."

Tegan blushed lightly, which she concealed with her tone. "And that's why you were staring at my scars."

Sam shook her head. "I didn't even see the scars."

"Right," Tegan wasn't going to allow her self to believe Sam was interested in women. She wasn't even sure she was. Besides, even if she was, there was no way in hell Sam would be attracted to her. In the very least she had enough scars on her body to have her show cased on Ripley's Believe It or Not, and probably get her into the Guinness Book of World Records. "I wasn't born yesterday Sam."

"I don't see what the big deal is." Although somewhere in the back of her mind the light bulb clicked.

"I'm a freak, that's what the big deal is. My whole freaking life I've been a part of the side show." She toed the welcome mat beneath her bare feet. "My one chance to fit in somewhere, and I even had to mess that up."

"Your one chance?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Tegan leaned against the open door. "Why'd you stop by?"  
>"You left your stuff at Jack's and I didn't think you'd want him dropping it off." Sam held up a grocery bag with Tegan's things in it. "Think I could come in?"<p>

Tegan glanced over her shoulder before stepping aside. "Sure."

Sam followed her into the living room after Tegan had locked the door behind her. There was a fleece blanket tossed haphazardly over the back of the couch, and a mug of watered down root beer on the end table. "The Twilight Zone" was playing on the muted TV, while a band unknown to Sam played on the stereo in the background. If she stopped to think about it, there was almost always music playing when she was in Tegan's space whether it be here, in her quarters on base, or even in her lab. Sam's eyes shifted over to the coffee table where Tegan's laptop sat, her production having been interrupted.

Tegan saw Sam's gaze land on the laptop and walked over to shut it down.

"Work?" Sam refocused on her surroundings.

"No. I keep a private journal of sorts." Her emphasis on private was evident.

Sam smiled. "Me too, with all the testosterone on base it's nice to have a place to retreat to."

"It's not that bad." Tegan threw out, but the women on base were still greatly out numbered especially those going off world.

"Yeah, well before you and Janet it was hell." Sam reached up as Tegan stepped past her and pulled on the back of the raincoat. "Take it off."

Tegan heard the whispered plea and turned to Sam with a confused look. "What?"

"Take it off," Sam gave her that mega watt smile of hers. "Before you start smelling like Rocky Balboa after a fight."

"Very funny," Tegan pulled the coat tighter around her.

Sam picked up the throw off the couch and held it out to Tegan. "Look, I'll even turn around."

Tegan felt foolish, like a teenager hiding in the locker room afraid someone might laugh because she was somehow different, even though they were all women. Sam had seen her scars. Worse yet Sam had seen the open and draining mess when Nirrti had left her to die.

"Hey." Sam reached out and touched Tegan's forearm. "I'm here if you want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." Tegan shrugged out of the drab yellow raincoat and walked back to the front hall to hang it up. When she returned to the living room she had the fleece throw draped over one shoulder. Sam was still standing in front of the couch. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks." Sam sat on the far end of the sofa.

"Can I get you anything? Something to drink?"

"No, I'm good." Sam declined the offer.

"Ok." Tegan sat down on the opposite end of the couch feeling awkward in the silence that followed. She could barely hear the music over her own beating heart.

Finally Sam spoke. "You left without saying goodbye. The guys were worried about you."

"My stomach was feeling a little queasy."

"Better now?"

Tegan eyed the untouched root beer on the end table, and shrugged. "I guess."

"So not much better huh?"

Tegan hadn't felt like eating since she'd left the cookout, and had actually thought she might be getting hungry just before Sam showed up. Now she knew she couldn't eat if her life depended on it. "I'm alright."

"You don't look alright." Sam observed. "Jack feels really bad about throwing you in the pool."

"It's no big deal." Tegan brushed it off. "I'll be back in a minute."

Sam nodded as she watched Tegan hop up off the couch and retreat up stairs. She looked over at the laptop and felt like a teenager again, wanting to read the secret diaries of her friends. She argued with herself for several minutes over why that would be an invasion of Tegan's privacy and how it could change their relationship forever. Thinking better of it, she turned her attention to the strains rising from the stereo. It was a band she was pretty sure she recognized from Cassie's collection. In fact she was pretty positive it was the beginning of the "Sweater Song" by Weezer. Her concentration was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass.

Sam looked up at the muted TV, thinking for a split second it had actually originated from there. The opening credits to "Tales From the Crypt" were dancing on the screen. She heard it again. The sound had definitely come from upstairs, which was where she was already heading. As she reached the closed bedroom door she remembered the incident with David, and suddenly wished for some kind of weapon. Looking around the empty hallway she decided to forgo a further search and busted into the room.

On first inspection the room looked empty, but on closer evaluation she saw Tegan sitting on the other side of the queen size bed. Sam stepped around the edge of the bed and realized Tegan's entire house must be wired for sound, because she could still hear Weezer.

_Watch me unravel_

_I'll soon be naked_

_Lying on the floor,_

_I've come undone_

Tegan was on the floor hugging her knees to her chest, she was lightly rocking back and forth sitting in a pile of reflective slivers of glass. Sam's eyes focused on her bare back as she realized the younger woman was quietly sobbing. Stepping forward carefully, Sam knelt behind Tegan and wrapped her arms around the half naked woman. "Shhh, it's ok."

Tegan's intent had been to go upstairs and slip into a t-shirt. She'd been meaning to replace her mirrored closet doors for sometime, and just hadn't gotten around to it. Tonight, as she slipped off her top, it was the image reflected back to her that sent her over the edge she'd been sitting on since Jack tossed her in the pool. Without any logical thought, she rammed her fist into first one image and then the other sending shards of glass into the air.

As Tegan's sobs calmed Sam realized her knuckles were bleeding. "Let me take a look at your hands."

Tegan held her hands up and examined the back of them. "They're fine."

"You've got glass embedded in your skin, they're not fine." Sam stood up and pulled the black t shirt off the bed. It had somehow avoided the raining pieces of mirror. She quietly helped Tegan slip the shirt on, and led her out of the room. Miraculously Tegan managed not to step on any slivers on her way.

"Peroxide, tweezers?" Sam asked when they reached the hallway.

"Bathroom closet, medical kit." Tegan answered automatically.

"I'll meet you in the guest room in a minute."

"It's fine Sam, I can take care of it in the morning."

"No." Sam insisted pointing to the empty guest room before heading to gather the supplies she would need.

Tegan sat down on the double bed in the guest room wishing she'd declined inviting Sam in. The last thing she needed was the blonde feeling sorry for her, or worse yet, seeing her as weak.

Sam walked in with her arms over flowing with medical supplies.

"They're tiny little cuts, it's not like I was shot or something."

"I know, but I can't have you going around getting infected and not being able to jump with us. Who else is going to save Jack's ass, take care of Daniel's 'owies,' explain biology to Teal'c and keep me company?"

"You managed just fine before I came along."

"Yeah, but it wasn't nearly as fun." Sam dropped the equipment on the bed and sat down across from Tegan. "Let me see your left one first."

Tegan held her hand out, and Sam picked up the tweezers and started pulling pieces of glass out. She did the same with her right, only causing Tegan to audibly cry out twice. When she finished she cleaned the small cuts and abrasions with peroxide, put an antibiotic ointment on them and wrapped both hands with sterile gauze. "There that should take care of it."

"What would I do without you?" Tegan rolled her eyes at the over dressed wounds.

"Die of gangrene?" Sam smiled.

"Probably," Tegan returned the smile. "Look, Sam… I'm sorry you had to see that earlier. It's not normally in my nature to beat the crap out of a couple mirrors."

"No problem." Sam had seen Tegan's temper a time or two, and it was no worse than her own. "So, do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I always attack inanimate objects when nothing is bothering me." Sam gathered the left over supplies and sat them on the nightstand. "Was it what Jack did earlier today?"

Tegan shook her head no. "Jack's harmless."

"Yeah, he is." Sam agreed before the unsettling silence fell between them again. Sam found it odd that this had never occurred before.

Tegan let out a sigh, but found no release in the action.

"Talk to me." Sam placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. When Tegan didn't respond Sam decided on a different approach. "Ok, so why'd you take out the mirrors on your closet?"

"I've been wanting to get rid of them."

"So you just decided to invoke 14 years of bad luck on yourself, not to mention cut up the back of your hands because you were tired of them?"

Tegan shook her head no, realizing how stupid her explanation had sounded even to herself. "I came upstairs to put on a t-shirt."

Tegan paused and almost huffed at the thought. "I saw my reflection in the mirror and was overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?" Sam encouraged her to continue.

"Yeah, with memories, thoughts." Tegan stared to a point past Sam, her eyes burning with uninvited tears. "David told me that no one would ever want to sleep with me now that I had a road map emblazoned on my upper body. Not even a blind person."

"And why would you believe him?"

"Because all men are alike."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe."

"He also…" Tegan's voice trailed off.

"What, he also what?"

"No matter how hateful or off the wall the things he said that night, there was some truth hidden inside, even if he didn't know it." Tegan wiped her eyes before any tears could fall.

"What did he say?"

"I…" Tegan stood up and glanced around the room. "I have to go."

"Go where?" Sam followed her into the bedroom, watching her walk barefooted through the ruins of shattered mirrors.

The fact she was standing on slivers of glass went unnoticed by Tegan as she pulled out an old pair of Levi's and pulled them on over her satin shorts. She found a beat up pair of Nikes and slid them on before walking past Sam and heading back downstairs.

"Where are you going?" Sam watched as Tegan pulled her helmet and mobile phone out of the bag she'd brought over and plucked her keys off a table in the entryway.

"I don't know." Tegan shrugged.

Sam managed to catch her arm before she headed out the door. "What did he say to you?"

Tegan released her arm from the light grasp, "That I would die unloved and alone."

Sam stood there unable to say anything, she only wished she had been the one to pull the trigger and kill the bastard. Tegan's biked revved to life breaking Sam's trance and she ran out of the house yelling, "It's not true!"


	6. Smoke Screen Surprises

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 6:**

**Smoke Screen Surprises**

When Tegan came back a few hours later, Sam was sleeping on the couch, blue and red lights playing across her face from the silent TV. The stereo had been turned down to an almost inaudible level. Tegan pulled the throw off the nearby armchair and covered the sleeping blonde.

She climbed into bed barely registering the mess from earlier had been cleaned up.

The next morning Tegan's phone rang waking both her and Sam. "Hello?"

"Hey," It was Janet's voice. "Have you seen Sam?"

"She's asleep on the couch." Tegan held the cordless phone to her ear as she crept quietly down the steps.

"I wanted to invite you both to dinner tonight. Cassie's staying at a friend's house."

"I'll have to check my schedule." Tegan half joked.

* * *

><p>Had she known the entire team was invited she would have stayed home. Jack met her at the door with profuse apologies.<p>

"Don't worry about it Colonel." She accepted his apology, not being one to hold grudges. "I wasn't feeling too good before you dunked me."

"Better now?"

"I think so," She followed him to the backyard where Daniel was grilling shish kabobs.

Dinner was good and the conversation was light until dessert was served. Jack was on his third beer, and the conversation somehow turned to Tegan. "So Tegan tell us about your self."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Oh come on there's got to be more to you than just a bunch of college degrees."

"Not really." Janet watched as Tegan silently closed down any attempts to continue the line of questioning.

"What happened to your hands?" Daniel pointed to the abrasions on her knuckles.

She turned to Teal'c. "How many times have you seen 'Star Wars'?"

"I believe that question is irrelevant to the current conversation." Teal'c responded.

"The big guy has a point." Jack grinned.

"I've… uh, I've got to go." Before anyone could stop her, Tegan was on her bike speeding off into the sunset.

* * *

><p>An hour later, she heard the incessant knocking from her perch on the couch. It wasn't that she didn't want to answer the door, but Tegan instinctively knew Janet would be standing on the other side in all her glory. Hands posed on hips, a frame of 5'2 that was scarier at times than Napoleon. Perhaps that's why Jack occasionally called her the Napoleonic power monger.<p>

Knocking turned to pounding, and Tegan knew if she didn't act now there would be hell to pay. She begrudgingly pushed herself to her feet, and padded to the front door. Taking a deep breath as she felt the cold knob in her palm, she swung the door inward on its hinges. "What do you want?"

Janet wavered slightly, taken aback by the commanding tone in Tegan's voice. No wonder she was 28 and already a ranking Major. "I stopped by to check on you."

"It's not like I'm on your way home'" Tegan rolled her eyes.

"No," Janet tried not to scoff at Tegan's sarcastic tone. "But you did leave my house rather abruptly."

"Look, I don't need you stopping by checking up on me. I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"Save the speech." Janet held her hand up, effectively cutting her off. "I've seen what you're capable of, and when it comes to yourself about the only thing you are good at is wreaking havoc on your body."

"I don't have to listen to this." Tegan started to close the door.

"That's right, when the world isn't going the way you want it to you just shut it out."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" If people could breathe fire, Janet just saw someone doing it.

"Everything is fine as long as the world keeps passing you by, but as soon as someone stops and takes a look in your direction you're outta there." Janet stood there for a second. "I don't know how you ever managed to make it through…"

"Through what?" Tegan's posture was defensive.

Janet shook her head. "I was going to say I don't know how you made it through college, the Air Force Academy, being a genius. But then it dawned on me, all your degrees, awards, brains, they're all part of the smoke screen."

"Excuse me?" Tegan wondered why she hadn't already slammed the door in Janet's face and ended the conversation.

"Oh, I'm not saying you're not a genius. I do believe you are one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. But you use your genius to hide behind. Anytime anyone tries to examine the cracks in your surface, you throw up a distraction. And when that doesn't work you just run the other way."

Tegan glanced at her watch while secretly hoping the world would just open up and swallow her. Was that too much to ask? If she left the conversation now, she would only prove Janet right. Problem was, for the first time in her life someone had hit the nail on the head. When Tegan realized the silence was expanding, she decided to break it. "Running out of insults?"

"This isn't going the way I intended." Janet's voice softened. "I didn't come over here looking for a confrontation."

"Then why did you come over?" Tegan's voice dripped with cynicism. "Do tell."

"Because I care, is it so hard to believe that someone could actually care about you?"

"I've got to go." Tegan started to close the door, but Janet stopped her.

"Damn it Tegan, just talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about Janet." Tegan's voice was flat, quiet. "Please, just leave me alone."

The pleading in Tegan's eyes and voice was enough for the doctor to give her some space, at least for the night.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Sam greeted with a mega watt smile as Tegan opened the door. "Are you ready?"<p>

"Where's Cassie?"

"She called a few minutes before I left and asked if I could pick you up first. She couldn't decide what to wear."

"We're just going to the mall," Tegan's left brow dipped.

"That's what I told her," Sam shrugged. "I also told her she'd better be ready when we get there because I'm starving."

Tegan grabbed her keys and purse before securing the door behind her.

"He's out making deliveries kind of late," Sam canted her head toward an ugly teal and lavender delivery van.

"He was in the neighborhood when I came home today." Tegan watched him pull up and roll down his window.

"'Scuse me, can you tell me where Elm street is?"

"Two streets over," Sam pointed in the general direction as he peered over his sunglasses at Tegan.

"Thank you ma'am."

"That was strange," Sam finished unlocking the Volvo.

Sam honked her horn as they pulled into Janet's driveway, after a few minutes she looked over at Tegan, "You want to go see what's keeping her?"

"Sure," Tegan unlatched her seatbelt.

As she reached the porch Sam bolted up the steps beside her, "I forgot I need to ask Janet something, we can go in together."

Tegan shrugged. She had no sooner opened the door when she heard everyone yelling "Surprise!"

Of course Cassie's voice had been the loudest by far, and the young girl's smile was second only to the colossal one plastered on Sam's face. "Were you surprised?"

"Oh yeah, kiddo," Jack patted Cassie on the back. "She was surprised."

Tegan scanned the living room, a quaint gathering of Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, a still smiling Cassie, Janet and of course Cassie's partner in crime Sam. Her eyes lifted to the banner floating over the entry way to the kitchen, bright blue letters read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

She'd completely forgotten that was today, not that she particularly wanted to remember.

"Tegan?" Cassie's smile started shrinking.

"Yeah Cass?" She continued to stare at the banner, the words sinking in.

"Were you surprised?"  
>Tegan let her eyes fall to the young preteen and forced a smile of her own, "Totally surprised."<p>

"Happy Birthday Kiser," Jack patted her on the back.

"You really shouldn't have."

"It was all Cassie's idea," Janet had hoped Tegan wouldn't let the problems between them ruin the celebration.

"She planned the whole thing," Sam tousled Cassie's hair.

"Really?" Tegan threw an arm around her shoulders, "You did a great job. I don't think I've ever had a birthday party before."

"You've never had a birthday party?" Cassie's mouth hung slightly agape.

"Nope, this is my first."

"You really did lead a sheltered life didn't you Kiser?"

"Jack!" Daniel cut his eyes to the man who should know better.

"Most of my birthday's were spent in school," She wasn't sure why she was offering an explanation.

"And you're birthday never fell on a Saturday?" Jack looked at Daniel and shrugged with his eyebrows.

"Boarding school Colonel," Tegan turned back to Cassie. "So what's for dinner? Sam's starved."

"Do you like hot dogs?"

"Do I like hotdogs?" She saw the look of apology on Janet's face. "What a crazy question, who doesn't like hot dogs?"

"Uncle Jack and Teal'c are going to fix them on the grill."

"Why don't you go help them?" Janet ushered Cassie and the guys through the kitchen and out the back door before opening the fridge and turning back to Tegan. "What do you want to drink?"

"Water's fine, thanks."

Janet handed her a bottle of water, "Sam?"

"Water actually sounds great."

"Good," Janet handed Sam a bottle of water before ripping the top off a Coke, "Because the guy's have the beer in a cooler on the deck."

"So you're 29 now?"

"Uh, yeah." Tegan wasn't sure what the question had been.

"I tried to talk her out of it."

"It was originally Colonel O'Neill's idea," Sam explained. "He told Cassie when your birthday was and that she should throw you a party. Janet and I tried to take her out of it, but…"

"Its fine," Her voice was fine but the shifting greens of her irises told a different story as she picked up her water and headed for the back yard.

Daniel was chasing Cassie around the backyard and Tegan made a b-line to the grill where Jack was teaching Teal'c the fine art of grilling hotdogs. "You do know my military file is classified."

Jack glanced across the backyard before responding, "It is, however your birthday is a matter of public record. What's the big deal anyway Kiser? It's just a birthday."

"It's not a big deal." She brushed it off.

"And that's why you looked like you'd seen a ghost when you walked into the living room?" He looked at Teal'c, "You want to let Doc know the dogs are done?"

"No ghosts."

"Tomorrow is your one year anniversary at the SGC, and you still don't trust your team."

Had it only been a year? "I would never be on a team I didn't trust with my life."

"You trust us with your life, but not with your heart," He lowered his voice as Teal'c returned to the porch with Janet and Sam. "You don't trust us with your emotions."

Tegan stared at him for a minute before turning to see Janet and Sam putting condiments and side dishes on the picnic table. "Do you need any help?"

"No," Janet looked up and smiled. "You're the birthday girl."

* * *

><p>"Are you ready for cake?"<p>

"Sure," Tegan smiled at the exuberance Cassie emitted.

"How many candles should I put on the cake?"

"None," Janet answered before Tegan could. "I completely forgot to pick up candles."

"It's ok," Tegan watched the disappointment dance across Cassie's face. "I've never been very good at blowing out candles."

"I thought you said you'd never had a birthday party," Jack quipped.

"I haven't, I just meant candles in general."

"That was the best birthday ever," She smiled genuinely at Cassie when she finished her slice of store bought cake, just as her cell phone began to trill in her pocket. Her forehead creased in confusion, most of the people who would be calling her were sitting right there. She pulled the phone out and checked caller id, which only let her know it was another wireless caller. "Kiser."

"Tegan?" A male voice on the other end inquired.

"Yes?" She slid out of the chair she was in and moved away from the group. The faint familiarity of the voice caused the food in her stomach to sour. "Who is this?"

"You killed her! She was the only I've ever loved and you killed her!"

"How did you get this number?" She demanded loud enough that Jack turned to face her. There was a click and the phone went dead. She pulled the number up from the recent calls list and redialed it getting a message informing her, the unit had been cut off.

"Who was it?" Jack asked as she pocketed the phone.

"No one," She excused herself and blazed a trail to the bathroom. She'd just managed to get the lid up when a conglomeration of hotdog, mustard, onions, baked beans, potato salad, and cake rocketed up through her esophagus and collided with the water causing an explosion that spattered onto the sides of the porcelain bowl.

When she emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later a concerned Janet was waiting for her. "I'm fine."

"I always pay my respects to the porcelain gods when I'm fine."

"I just ate too much," Tegan moved to the kitchen. "Bottled water?"

"Bottom shelf," Janet watched her retrieve it and twist off the cap before downing a quarter of it in one huge gulp.

"Guess I should get back to the party."

"If you want to bail, I'll let Cassie know you had too much cake."

The offer was enticing, but the last time she'd left early Janet showed up on her doorstep and they were both still suffering from the wounds inflicted. Had it only been a few days ago? Tegan shook her head, "I told you I'm fine."

"Fine," Janet didn't want to push her any further away. She followed her back outside where Tegan quickly found Cassie's soccer ball and started kicking it around with her.

At ten o'clock Tegan said her goodbyes, the guys had gone an hour earlier, and it was past Cassie's bed time. She pulled the girl into a one armed embrace. "Thanks for the birthday party."

"Did you really like it?"

"I did," She smiled leaving no doubt in Cassie's mind that it was real.


	7. Dancing with Nirrti

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 7:**

**Dancing with Nirrti**

"SG1 Report to the debriefing room, SG1 Report to the debriefing room." Tegan cut her microscope off and was heading out of her lab as the klaxons continued their summoning. "Dr. Fraiser report to the debriefing room, Dr. Fraiser report to the debriefing room."

General Hammond and Sam were already in the conference room when Tegan arrived, within five minutes they were all assembled around the oblong table. "Just over a year ago an off world post was set up on PX-7893, the planet better known to its inhabitants as Lastha. As long as there's nothing pressing going on, SG22 reports in once a week on Mondays. This week they missed their report time, this morning after we were unable to raise them on the radio, we sent a MALP through the Stargate."

General Hammond turned to the TV screen and started to play back the recording, "This is what we found."

"Is that a…"

"Corpse sir," Tegan looked at Jack before looking back at General Hammond as he stopped the tape.

"I'd like SG1 along with you Dr. Fraiser to go in and look for survivors."

"We can be ready to go in an hour sir," Jack responded.

"Um, sir," Tegan spoke. "We're actually going to need a little more time, to organize decontamination units for when we return, and we'll have to go in full biohazard gear."

"You act like we're walking into a plague Major?"

"Major Kiser's right," Janet added. "We don't know what we're walking into and should take all precautions."

"Very well, how long will it take?"

"I think it's safe to say we can be ready in two hours?" Tegan looked to Janet who nodded.

* * *

><p>"Sam," Janet stepped into the locker room in her battle dress uniform minus her jacket. "Could you give us a minute?"<p>

"I'm actually done here," Sam glanced at Tegan before removing herself.

Tegan sat down on the bench and started lacing up her boots.

"Tegan?"

"Yeah?" She continued her task.

"I can't do this."

"What?"

"This," Janet waved her hand between them. "I want to be your friend, I have to be your physician and coworker, but I can't keep doing this, this thing we've been doing since…"

"Since you had me escorted to your office to reprimand me for my personal life?"

"I didn't know that caring about you would cause this kind of rift between us," Janet sighed. "I can't keep working with you like this."

"You blurred the line between personal and professional, you overstepped your bounds as an officer."

"I'm sorry," She reached out and was surprised when Tegan didn't move away. She took her hand in hers, "I'm really sorry."

"I am too," The right side of her mouth curled upward. "I can be a real pain, and don't make friends easily."

"So are we good, at least for this week?"

"We're good," Tegan let go of her hand and stood up grabbing her pack. "But I still don't make friends easily."

* * *

><p>They had only traveled a short distance from the gate when they came across their first casualty. Tegan dressed in her yellow biohazard garb, knelt down beside the body and checked for a pulse. Even through the thick rubber gloves she could tell there was no sign of lingering life in this lump of decaying flesh and bones. The cause of death was not immediately distinguishable and if made to guess she would say it was either viral, bacterial, or a poisoning of some sort. "He's dead, sir."<p>

Jack nodded his head in silence, while trying to ignore the steely cold grip he felt in his stomach. It wasn't so much the lifeless body in front of him, but the thought of what brought them to PX-7893.

"Sir," Sam watched as Tegan straightened her posture.

"Don't say it." He glanced at her through the large plastic face mask in his suit.

"P8X-987." Daniel rattled off without blinking.

"I said…" Jack turned to him.

"We can't ignore the similarities, sir." Janet spoke up from her position to the right of Tegan.

"Hanka, Cassandra's planet?" She was putting the pieces of their conversation together with her knowledge of the files she'd read.

"Yeah," Sam nodded inside her suit.

Tegan could feel her own protective gear closing in on her, at the thought of an innocent little girl being left as the only survivor on a planet that had so many similarities to this one. As if reading her mind Janet voiced the concerns of the group, "Nirrti?"

"Could be," Jack lifted his P-90 slightly, "We need to stay alert."

"We still don't know that everyone is dead." Daniel reasoned.

"Look around you Danny." Jack spread his arms out and turned in a circle. There were bodies lying haphazardly along the sides of the dirt roads for as far as the eye could see.

"I believe they are all dead." Teal'c stated the obvious in his unassuming way.

"We thought the same thing when we found Cassandra." He had to hold onto the thin hope this was just a strange epidemic and there were survivors further in.

"Yeah, well we're not taking any kids back through the gate." Jack directed his warning to Sam. "At least not until we know exactly what we're dealing with."

"If Nirrti is behind this, I doubt she would try the same ploy twice." Sam reasoned.

"If she's even the Goa'uld behind this."

"I don't know Jack," Daniel adjusted his pack. "It does look like her handy work."

"Our outpost is just over there." Sam pointed to a cluster of buildings on the out skirts of town.

"Let's get to it." Jack led the way.

"I don't think we're going to find anyone still alive." Tegan observed as Jack turned the door knob.

"Oh come on Kiser, don't be so optimistic." Jack pushed the door open, ignoring her foreboding tone, "Ladies first."

"Why thank you Colonel," Janet shook her head before stepping through the threshold following Tegan and Sam.

"I've got three dead over here, sir." Tegan bent down to get a closer look and try to ID the dead soldiers. Unfortunately she hadn't been assigned to the Stargate project when the outpost had been set up.

"Let's keep moving," Jack ventured deeper into the building, his team trailing close behind. Five more bodies were located in the hallway, seemingly to have just fallen where they had been standing.

"We're going to need to perform autopsies to determine a cause of death." Tegan directed her comment to Janet.

"I'll leave the honors to you."

"Sir?" Tegan's voice quivered slightly.

"What is it Kiser?" He turned to face her.

"We're not alone sir."

"What?" He looked to his left. "Teal'c?"

His tall brow wrinkled for a minute. "I do not detect a presence Colonel O'Neill."

"See that Kiser, you're just over reacting." Jack had just finished his statement when the group heard the distinct sound of a staff weapon powering up.

Despite knowing the sound came from behind her Tegan looked at Teal'c's staff weapon.

"Drop your weapons."

Tegan didn't need to turn around to know the voice belonged to Nirrti, but that didn't stop her from spinning around and lifting her P-90 into the Goa'uld's chest.

"Major Kiser." The woman sneered. "What a pleasant surprise. I had hoped to find you here."

"This was a trap." Tegan's finger tightened on the trigger.

"How perceptive of you, now lower your weapon."

"Not until I shoot you," she growled with pure intent.

"You can't kill me." Nirrti laughed. "And even if you could, I have enough Jaffa with me to take you all out. Now, I am only going to tell you one more time. Lower your weapons."

"Kiser," Jack spoke. "Do what the snake head says."

"Your Colonel O'Neill is very wise." Nirrti glared at Tegan until she too had lowered her weapon to the floor. "Jaffa take them to the veknil."

"Veknil?" Jack glanced to Daniel.

"Loose translation, prison." Daniel shrugged helplessly.

"Great." Jack mumbled as one of the Jaffa pushed him forward.

* * *

><p>"Oh boy, wide screen. I wonder if we'll get to watch the big game tonight." Jack remarked as the solid wall slid shut behind them.<p>

"I do not believe it is here for our entertainment." Teal'c looked to Tegan. "Major Kiser, you recognized one of the Jaffa did you not?"

"No, not one of the Jaffa," Not wanting to further elaborate Tegan pulled her protective gear off. "I don't believe we're in any danger here."

"Where ever here is," Daniel followed suit.

"We are on a Goa'uld mother ship orbiting the planet."

"I think we figured that much out," Daniel grumbled as the rest of his team stripped out of there biohazard gear.

"What do you suppose she wants?" Sam dropped her suit on top of the pile.

"Probably to finish what she started." Tegan turned away from the group.

"Will we aren't going to let that happen Kiser."

"And who's going to stop her Colonel, you?" Tegan spit out. "She's not going to let any of us off this ship alive."

"Well I hate to spoil her plans, but we don't just roll over and die."

"Are you ok?" Janet put her hand on Tegan's forearm. "It's not like you to give up on anything."

"I'm not giving up." Tegan stepped away from the door just as it slid open.

"You, come with me." The Jaffa pointed to Tegan.

"She's not going anywhere junk head." Colonel O'Neill stepped forward only to be hit by a zat blast. "Argh!"

"I said come with me," He demanded.

Tegan wasn't given a choice as his crushing grip came down on her forearm, but she used the situation to her advantaged and pretended to stumble into him, sliding her hand behind his robes thrusting it into his pouch and pulled out his symbiote. The white larval creature shrieked in her hand, and she did her best not to bring up her toenails since her stomach was emptier than the Grand Canyon.

The Jaffa doubled over in pain, but manage to hit the console to close the door. Tegan dropped the symbiote as she stepped back causing it to bisect the creature killing it instantly.

Tegan shook the orange mucous off her hand and made a face before turning to see her stunned teammates. "Think she'll get the message?"

"I can't believe you did that." Sam was the first to speak.

"A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do." She turned to see Jack pushing himself to his feet, "Colonel?"

"That's the Kiser I know," He rubbed at his temple.

When the door opened again sometime later, there were two Jaffa standing there with there staff weapons armed and ready, "Major Kiser, you will come with us."

"Sir," Tegan called out as she was pulled through the opening. "I won't give her anything."

* * *

><p>"Something tells me this isn't going to be your game, Jack." Daniel pointed to the screen as it flickered to life.<p>

"Only Nirrti," Sam shook her head in disgust.

Janet studied the screen which displayed Tegan hanging from chains in a chamber reminiscent to the one she'd been found in after her last encounter with Nirrti. Only this time she was fully clothed.

"She intends for us to witness Major Kiser's torture." Teal'c turned away from the screen as Nirrti stepped into the cavernous room, her voice transmitting into the cell they were being housed in.

"Major Kiser, we meet again." The Goa'uld spoke in a deep vibrato.

"Go to hell." Despite the chains forcing her to stand uncomfortably on her tiptoes, she refused to bend.

"I do not know if you are brave or just stupid Major Kiser."

"I'm not telling you anything."

"You do not have to say anything." Nirrti opened her hand to reveal a memory device, similar to the one Jacob had used to try and retrieve the memories Kelnar had left behind.

"Shit!" Sam watched the screen as Nirrti placed the memory device against Tegan's temple.

"What is it Carter?" Colonel O'Neill looked at his second in command.

"It's a memory device."

"I know that."

"With the wealth of knowledge left behind by Kelnar, and Kalma-Kip'tu combined with the intel she has…"

"Point taken."

"Uh, guys." Daniel pointed to the screen as the opening to the King and I flickered to life.

"What's going on?" Janet didn't follow, but was sure the Goa'uld didn't have access to movies from earth.

"She's connected the device to a video feed, for lack of a better description." Sam explained.

"Smart kid, although I would have picked a better movie, something along the lines of Indiana Jones."

Somewhere in the middle of "Hello Young Lovers" the screen flickered back to Tegan and Nirrti. The two images being super imposed like a bad cable connection before clearing and focusing on the Goa'uld enhanced body standing in front of Tegan, Nirrti's right hand clenching her jaw. The tendons standing out in stark lines under her skin, the sharp metal tips of the hand device digging into Tegan's face. "I grow tired of your games."

Her breath wafted up to Tegan's nostrils causing her to gag at the smell that could only be compared to rotting flesh and maggots.

"How do you kill symbiotes?"

The screen flashed back to white fangs flashing in the air seconds before Kalma-Kip'tu ripped through the soft flesh of Tegan's throat. Her entire body was assaulted with the pain she'd felt that day. "Raindrops on roses…"

"No!" Nirrti yelled breaking into the escape route Tegan was making for herself. "You will not retreat to a happy place! Tell me what I want to know."

"And what's that? That you're a scum sucking low life, who can't even climb to the top of the primordial ooze that you come from and become a real system lord."

"Do you know what I did to Kelnar?" The brunette beast paced in front of her.

"Haven't a clue."

"Oh, you will." She turned to Rosh'na another Goa'uld and her apprentice. "Turn it all the way up."

He bowed his head slightly while hesitating.

"What are you waiting for?"

"You will kill her."

"She will wish I would kill her, now turn it up."

He nodded once before moving the remote over the device.

"What I did to Kelnar will be pleasant compared to what I have in store for you." Nirrti stepped back as the device trolled for a memory from Kelnar. It only took a second before an image of Nirrti and Kelnar appeared on the screen.

Nirrti had a light stick in her hand, the same one she'd used on Tegan in the past, and placed it on the base of the host's neck of Kelnar. Screams from both Kelnar and Tegan filled the air.

Tegan's screams were so loud she could be heard in the cell even over the sound coming from the image. Janet cringed, and Sam put her hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing we can do."

"This is why I prefer working in the infirmary." Janet shivered involuntarily.

"Turn it off!" Tegan's cries pierced Nirrti' ears; "Turn it off, I'll tell you what you want to know."

Nirrti waved her hand in the air, and Rosh'na turned the device off.

Tegan gasped for breath as Nirrti wrapped her spiny fingers around her neck. The cool metal of the hand device felt mildly soothing, if only for a second. "Tell me."

"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Tegan quoted a batman movie she'd seen as a teen.

Nirrti squeezed her fingers around Tegan's neck and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "I do not dance, nor do I play games. Now tell me what I want to know!"

Tegan glared at Rosh'na. "You have an intruder in your midst."

Rosh'na didn't even flinch at the tone of betrayal her voice, nor when Nirrti turned to look at him.

"Not him." Tegan looked to Nirrti's head Jaffa. "Him, he was sent here by Apophis."

Without hesitation Nirrti released Tegan's neck and directed a large energy wave that sent the Jaffa flying into a wall.

"You'd better be glad I don't have time to give you a traitor's death." She growled before striking him with a deadly pulse of electricity.

Tegan smirked. "You're so gullible."

"You are not afraid of my wrath?" Nirrti pounced on Tegan like a mountain lion on a rabbit. Her anger fueled by the fact it was her second Jaffa Tegan had helped kill.

"No." Tegan responded calmly, ignoring the pain from her grip on her jaw.

"I know your weakness."

"You know nothing." Tegan was defiant as always.

"I know that if you don't tell me exactly what I want to know, I am going to kill you." She leaned in so close Tegan could feel the warm moisture of her rancid breath on her face. "And when I do, you are going to die alone and unloved."

Tegan wondered briefly where that had come from, and if it was truly just a stab in the dark, as Nirrti held her hand out for the remote to the memory device. She turned it a notch below its highest setting, as Tegan struggled to fight the memories from her own past. "I have been loved."

"You have never been loved. No one could ever love you." Nirrti took another menacing stab, before swearing her own personal oath. "I will destroy you."


	8. Tortured Memories

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 8:**

**Tortured Memories**

_There is the clatter of glass muffled by the splashing of water, on the screen a tumbler of water spills onto the table. The liquid flowing onto the floor, as a raven haired man turns to the redheaded little four year old. His hands grip a dishtowel so tightly his knuckles blanch as he yells. "You destroy everything you touch, just like you killed your mother!"_

_Tears well up, clouding large innocent green eyes that are unique to Tegan, "I'm sorry."_

"_Sorry doesn't bring her back!" He turns his back to the little girl. "I can't stand to look at you. Go to your room."_

_A redheaded ten-year old walks into a small white walled room furnished with only a twin size bed, and desk. She is wearing a school uniform of some sort and drops her laptop onto the bed adorned in drab graying sheets and a worn comforter. She spots the bright yellow post it on her desk and turns to it. "Call your Father"_

_She crumples the note in her hand and retreats to the hall to find the phone. After dialing the familiar number she presses her ear to the receiver. The line rings twice before a gruff female voice answers the phone. "Hello?"_

"_I'd like to speak to Mr. Kiser please." The conversation is a twice a year ritual._

"_Get your father." The voice is muffled and a few seconds later the angry male voice picks up. _

"_Hello."_

"_Dad?" There's hope in the ten year old's voice. Hope that time and time again is shattered._

"_You're worthless."_

"_It's not Christmas." She reminds him._

"_Don't you ever look at a Calendar? You're mom died eleven years ago today." He sighs angrily. "You killed her, don't you remember?"_

_She is now eleven, and she wonders why the others at the school look forward to their birthdays. _

"_You killed her, you ungrateful little…"_

"_I'm sorry." She whispers and hangs up the line._

_A thirteen year old sits among the proud faces of seventeen and eighteen year olds. She scans the audience optimistically, he wouldn't miss today. She's called to the podium to give a speech, the microphone screeches as it is lowered. Her classmates laugh, she blushes, her red hair sweeping out from under her cap. "The only reason I am standing up here today is because I am Valedictorian, and while I have the ability to give a great speech I don't really know anything about my fellow graduates, except they are all eager to get on with this ceremony because parties are waiting, college is calling, and life is fervently bubbling inside them. So I will keep my remarks short, congratulations and good luck."_

_She walks across the stage and is handed a diploma, a smile pulls at her lips but falters and falls to the ground breaking into a million tiny pieces as she spots her father scowling in the stands. Immediately following the ceremony he reminds her why her mother isn't there. "You killed her."_

Tegan gasped, finally able to pull away from the power of the memory device. Angry at the Goa'uld for invoking the raw pain inside her she jerked in her restraints, the chains groaned under her renewed vigor. Nirrti turned, a malevolent smile tugging at her lips. "I have found your weakness."

"You have nothing."

"What did you do to your mother?"

"I," She looked away from the Goa'uld. "I didn't do anything."

"You killed her," Nirrti circled her prey. "You killed you own mother."

"No," Tegan refused to take the blame, not now, not again.

"You're father hated you because you killed your mother," Nirrti made the statement as if she'd been an eyewitness to the actual event.

"He didn't hate me."

"I fail to see the love." She grabbed her chin roughly reminding her of her immeasurable power. "Is your father still living in the immense misery you created for him, or did you kill him too?"

Tegan closed her eyes, trying desperately to fight the unwanted memories from flooding back to her, but in the end she succumbed. Despite the raw emotional pain, her past memories would at least for now keep her from revealing any secrets that would truly benefit Nirrti.

_It's the same kitchen where a tumbler of water spilled all those years ago, the once raven haired man is standing unshaven with graying temples and a scowl on his face. "What are you doing here?" _

"_I've been accepted to UVA," The screen door slams shut behind her. Still wearing her cap and gown she smiles tentatively. "I'm going to be a doctor."_

"_And who do you think's going to pay for it? I'm not made of money you know!"_

"_I've got a full scholarship," She holds the letter out. She doesn't need his permission. "I thought you'd be happy, proud even."  
>"Proud," He shakes with anger. "Proud? When have I ever been proud of you? Why did you think this would make me happy? You destroyed the only thing I ever truly loved."<em>

"_It's been thirteen years."_

"_You don't think I know that?" He yells as he reaches into the back of his waistband. She doesn't even see the gun as he jerks it around slashing her across the face. "You ungrateful little hussy!"_

_She finds herself staring down the barrel of a colt .44._

"_Get out!" He screams, spittle spattering her face. "Get out and never come back. You stole her from me and if I ever see your face again I'll kill you."_

Scene after scene dance across the screen in the dark room where Janet and the rest of SG1 are being held; Most of them unhappy times, Christmas spent locked in the basement with her father giving her cold scraps. The one saving grace was tiny fingers sliding a gingerbread man missing his head under the door. Summers and holidays spent hiding away in the dorms until all the staff had gone so she wouldn't be found out and sent to relive another cold dark Christmas, or a smoldering hot summer in the attic.

When she couldn't take anymore Janet slid down the wall, burying her head in her knees and covering her ears with her hands. It was all the same theme, and then she heard music, the sweet strains of an A cappella group. Of course this was cut short by a tortuous scream as Nirrti held her ribbon device flush against Tegan's forehead and released an energy beam.

"Tell me how you kill the symbiotes!"

"I can't."

"You can't because you don't know or you won't?" She sneered.

"You can kill me a thousand times over, and I still won't tell you anything."

"Oh, I plan to, that and so much more." Nirrti walked over and picked up a large metal rod and swung it like a golf club before swinging it high and connecting with Tegan's upper right arm. The cracking of bone echoing in the chamber as Tegan bit down on her lip drawing blood.

Nirrti frowned, and started to swing the bar again before she stopped and turned o her newest first prime. "I grow impatient, bring me Major Carter."

Knowing there was no escape Sam walked into the chamber escorted on either side by a Jaffa. With just a nod of Nirrti's head the Jaffa pushed Sam in front of Tegan. "Kneel!"

Without giving her even a second to do so, she felt the end of a staff weapon connect with the back of her leg forcing her to land hard on her knees.

Nirrti ran her fingers through Tegan's red tresses grabbing a handful and jerking her head back exposing the soft smooth ivory of her throat, admiring silently the blood coursing just below the surface. She held her free hand out, and was rewarded for the gesture when Rash'na placed a sharp silver blade in it. "Give me the code that opens the iris to your Stargate."

"Don't do it Sam." Despite her compromised position she would do anything possible to save earth from the possibility of Goa'uld attack directly on the Stargate.

"I don't know it."

"I will kill her," Nirrti swiveled the blade catching the light as she pressed it against Tegan's throat. "I'm going to ask you one more time, what is the iris code?"

Sam stared at the blade, at the muscles tensing in Tegan's throat, her own voice sounded foreign to her ears, the load echoing 'NO!' as bright red blood spurted from Tegan's carotid artery, it's warmth saturating her uniform.

The blood spurted onto the kneeling Sam until finally Tegan's blood volume dropped too low and her heart quit pumping. Her lifeless body lay limp in the chains as Nirrti released her hair and turned back to her first prime, "Kree!"

The broadcast and recording devices were cut off, and Sam was escorted back to her cell. Nirrti commanded that Rosh'na put Tegan in a special sarcophagus she'd obtained, before retiring to her own quarters on the ship.

Janet didn't even try to hide the tears as she watched Nirrti slit Tegan's throat, she wanted to tear her eyes from the screen but she couldn't. After the final spurt of arterial blood the screen went black and Janet crumbled to the floor. Daniel joined her wrapping comforting arms around her much smaller frame. He looked up at Jack, "Can a sarcophagus bring her back?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," His voice cracked as he looked at Teal'c.

"It is possible," He wasn't promising anything.

"Sam," Janet stood letting Daniel's arms fall away as she was pushed into the room before the door closed silently behind her.

"Don't," She croaked, her hair was matted with Tegan's drying blood, her black shirt stuck to her with its wetness.

"Carter, you couldn't have done anything."

"I know Colonel."

They sat in silence allowing each other their own personal space for their thoughts. It was several hours later when the screen flickered back to life to reveal Tegan back in the chamber her wrists chained high above her head.

"How are you feeling Major Kiser?" Nirrti walked in with a torture stick in her hand.

Tegan set her jaw and merely glared at her.

"Not in the mood to talk?" Nirrti lay the stick on a podium, picked up the same dagger she'd used earlier to slit her throat before approaching Tegan. "And after all I have done for you."

She slid the silver blade up under the bottom of Tegan's shirt and in one fluid movement she sliced the material open revealing perfect ivory skin.

Tegan drew in her breath, and closed her eyes half expecting to feel the blade gutting her, or to hear the sound of a whip slicing through the air. Instead she felt sharp fingernails graze her ribs followed by a quite laugh. "You are afraid of me."  
>Tegan opened her eyes and stared at the pompous woman in front of her, "In your wildest dreams."<p>

Nirrti gave her a menacing smile, "Enjoy your beauty while it lasts, when we get to our destination I will make a host out of Major Carter, and she will extract the information I desire by any means necessary. I will also have the codes to get through your Stargate and destroy the Tau'ri."

Tegan activated the voice synthesizer, "Let them go!"

"I do not know how you do that," Nirrti watched her eyes glow, "But I do know you do not have a living Goa'uld within you."

"Go to hell," Her voice reverberated before she shut the device off and the light in her eyes died.

Nirrti returned to the podium and picked up the torture stick moving behind her and running her free hand around to Tegan's abdomen. She trailed her fingers from her belly button to just below Tegan's bra and back, pressing her hard body into Tegan's back and inhaling deeply. She flattened her hand on her abdomen and held Tegan tight against her, seconds before she brought the torture stick into contact with the base of her skull.

Had she not been held firmly in place by Nirrti her back would've arched away from the Goa'uld. Instead her body tensed into her as golden yellow light surged from her eyes and mouth along with the screams. Several minutes passed before Nirrti removed the torture stick leaving her gasping for breath.

"How do you make your eyes glow like a Gou'ald?"

Tegan continued to struggle for breath, refusing to answer.

"Do it again!" She commanded grabbing Tegan's jaw and forcing her to look her in the eye.

"No," Tegan's voice was raw but forceful.

"Bring me the dark haired woman," She barked the order at her first prime, then turned to Rosh'na, "Raise her."

Tegan felt her body being lifted, the weight of her body separating her shoulders, elbows, and wrists. When the toe of her boots barely touched the floor Nirrti threw her hand in the air and the ascent stopped.

"Kneel," Nirrti spun around to face Janet who was flanked on either side by Jaffa.

Janet was half expecting to be hit with a staff weapon, but was silently grateful when she was left to kneel on her own.

Nirrti held the torture stick in her hand making sure Tegan saw it, "How do you do it?"

"I don't know," She admitted.

"Make them glow."

"No!" Janet drew the attention of both women.

Nirrti moved over to Janet, the brunette doctor's aching knees were currently the least of her worries. "I do not have the pleasure of knowing your name."

"And you won't." Janet muttered as she felt the cold metal finger coverings of the ribbon device dig into her skin.

"What is your name?" Nirrti pulled Janet's jaw upward until she could search the chocolate orbs staring up at her. "I will get it out of you."

"Doctor Janet Fraiser, Major United States Air Force." Tegan answered as Nirrti started to lift the torture stick.

"Interesting," Nirrti spoke under her breath as she moved behind Tegan. She scowled at Janet, "Would you rather I use this?"

Tegan shook her head warning Janet not to answer seconds before the torture stick came into contact with her neck. She didn't leave it there for very long before she moved back in front of Tegan, she knew how much torture she could endure. She crossed between Tegan and Janet before she moved behind the kneeling doctor, and wrapping her fingers in brunette tresses moved the hair away from Janet's neck. "Make your eyes glow."

"Don't do it, Tegan." Janet begged.

Nirrti pressed the torture stick into Janet's neck.

Tegan didn't even wait fifteen seconds before she yelled over Janet's screams. "Stop, I'll do it, just stop."

Nirrti smiled as she pulled the torture stick back, but continued to hold Janet's hair intertwined in her fingers. Tegan's eyes glowed whitish yellow for several seconds before Nirrti was standing in front of her and she stopped. "Tell me the Iris code."

"No."

Nirrti pointed the torture stick at Janet before repeating her request. "Tell me the Iris code."

"No."

"I will…"

"My lord," One of her Jaffa entered the chamber and interrupted. "We are nearing the planet."

"Take her back to the cell," She pointed at Janet. "Leave Major Kiser here, I will be in my sarcophagus get me when we arrive."


	9. Teddy Bear and Red Locks

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 9:**

**Teddy Bear and Red Locks**

The screen had been off since Janet was returned to the cell, and now Jack prepared to attack whichever of Nirrti's henchmen were behind the door as it slid open. He stopped short when he saw Tegan standing in front of Rosh'na. "He's getting us off this hunk of flying metal."

"He? How?"

"I am Tok'ra," Rosh'na spoke as Tegan took in the cell vaguely remembering she'd been housed there momentarily a day or two before. She wasn't sure how long she'd been mentally and physically tortured. "There is no time to explain everything."

"We have to go," Tegan stepped back into the corridor.

"I will use the transport rings to transport you to the Stargate," Rosh'na explained as he led them to the ring room. "You must immediately gate home. I am not sure how long I can keep Nirrti or her Jaffa from discovering you are gone."

"What about you?" Daniel asked. "What will happen to you if you get caught?"

"I will not get caught," Rosh'na smiled. "I have a plan. In here."

Once they were within the working area of the transport rings Colonel O'Neill questioned, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because both Major Carter and Major Kiser have Tok'ra intel which is vital it does not get out." He raised his hand to the control.

Without getting a chance to respond they found themselves on the surface of a strange planet. "Carter dial us home."

"Yes sir."

"What do you think will happen to him if he gets caught?" Daniel asked from the planet's surface while Sam was dialing earth.

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to," Tegan bit out.

Jack turned to Tegan. "You ok Kiser?"

She blinked as the wormhole activated, "Fine sir."

"Let's go home, shall we?"

* * *

><p>"Colonel, what happened?" General Hammond appeared in the doorway to the gate room as the gate shut down.<p>

"Nirrti happened sir, it was all an elaborate trap."

"And SG22?"

"They're all dead sir," Tegan's voice was distant.

General Hammond noticed Tegan's cut shirt as she crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to keep it closed. "Report to the infirmary, I'd like to debrief in two hours."

"Yes sir."

"I expect a full explanation when we debrief," He directed his comment to Jack having noticed the blood still caked in Sam's hair and staining her cargo pants. "Dismissed."

* * *

><p>Tegan sat across from Janet during the debriefing and remained quiet as Colonel O'Neill recounted the most important parts of the mission and what had happened. He left out the details of Tegan's mental torture with the memory device, or at least the memories they had seen. It was something he'd already discussed with everyone but her before the debriefing and they'd all agreed it was best. Immediately after they were dismissed with two weeks of downtime Tegan disappeared.<p>

* * *

><p>Tegan sat on the lone bench in the center of the women's locker room, her back facing the door. She'd heard Janet come in a few minutes earlier and had refused to face her, let lone acknowledge her presence.<p>

Even from behind her, Janet could read the distress on Tegan's face. It was written all over her body, the toned and straining muscles rippling through the black cotton of her shirt. She still couldn't imagine anyone treating another human being, especially a child, the way Tegan had been treated growing up. Somehow she knew what they'd glimpsed was only the tip of the iceberg, despite the Colonel's warning to leave it behind, she couldn't. She wanted to reach out to her, to take away the pain of it all. She was powerless to erase the emotional scars. "I'm here Tegan. I just want you to know if you need me I'm here."

"I know," she sighed. "I just need some time."

"Well, you know where to find me."

She sat there in the dark for an hour after Janet left; when she heard the door open again she knew it was Sam. Several moments of silence passed between them before the blonde finally spoke. "Do you need a ride home?"

Tegan looked at the keys in her hand, "You heard Warner, he'd discharge me if I didn't drive for the next 24 hrs."

"I did, so let me give you a lift?"

"Yeah," Tegan stood up the prescription bottle of potassium rattling in her pocket.

"It's crazy but we're getting together at Janet's and ordering Chinese, are you in?"

Tegan shrugged as she walked out, "Sure why not."

* * *

><p>She thought it would keep her from being alone with her thoughts, but it was awkward all the same. They gathered around the table the only person smiling was Cassie who was just so glad they were back.<p>

Janet watched as Tegan pushed her Lo mien around her plate for the tenth time, her egg roll remained untouched. Cassie's laughter drew her attention to the other end of the table where Jack had just told a joke. He kept glancing at the quite Tegan, as did the rest of her team.

"Cassie if you're finished eating, you may be excused." Janet looked at the veggies Cassie had pulled out of her sweet and sour chicken still littering her plate. She was surprised when her daughter stood up and started clearing the table, although she was certain it had something to do with the ease of eavesdropping from a closer location.

Tegan lifted her plate as Cassie came to her side, the teen sighed. "You didn't eat anything."

"I'm not hungry," She glanced at Cassie before looking at Janet.

"Yeah," Daniel interrupted the strained silence. "The sarcophagus can do that to you."

Unlike her teammates Nirrti hadn't given her any food that Janet was aware of, although she thought it was possible Rosh'na had slipped her something to eat when he could.

"What did she do to you anyway?"

"Who?" Tegan turned to face Cassie who was still standing their holding her plate, as if she might change her mind.

"Nirrti, who else?"

"Who told you it had anything to do with Nirrti?" Jack cleared his throat.

"I'm not stupid Uncle Jack," Cassie glared in his direction. "I know what she's capable of."

"It's ok Cassie, we're all back in one piece and we're fine." Jack reassured, but couldn't possibly imagine what she was feeling.

When they hadn't reported back Julie had picked Cassie up from her last day of school, and explained that Janet was on a mission off world and they weren't sure how long she'd be gone. When Janet was called off world it usually wasn't scheduled so it really hadn't alarmed her.

"I hate that word," Cassie looked at Tegan. "You're not fine are you?"

"I'm ok Cass, really."

"Then why didn't you eat?"

"I told you I'm not hungry."

"Well the food couldn't get here fast enough for them." She looked around the room.

Janet started to play the mom card and reprimand Cassie for her tone when Tegan locked eyes with her silently telling her to let it go. "Why don't you wrap that over and I'll take it home, I'm sure I'll be hungry before I go to bed?"

"Cassie just put it on the counter I'll take care of cleaning up," Janet wished she could tell her to go do her homework; instead she came up with another plan. "Why don't you go ride your bike for a while before it gets dark."

"Fine," She let the plate fall a few inches to the counter.

"Stay on our street, and be back by eight."

When the front door closed Tegan looked around the table to see all eyes on her. "I'm fine."

"No one said you weren't." Jack pushed his chair back but didn't get up.

The sound of the chair legs vibrating against the linoleum caused Tegan to flinch. She closed her eyes as an unbidden memory of her father moving so quickly from a ladder backed chair, it had toppled over. Before the sound had dissipated she was being lifted by her neck out of her own seat.

Janet reached out and delicately touched Tegan's forearm with her finger tips. The action caused her to visibly jump as her eyelids snapped open.

"Sorry," Janet whispered while pulling her hand away.

"What did you all see?" Tegan's voice was child like.

"We saw everything Nirrti saw."

"Teal'c." Jack growled, but it was too late.

"I... uh," Tegan looked at her watch. "Need to go."

"I wish you would stay." Janet's brown eyes begged.

"Dr. Warner cleared me."

"I wouldn't have." Janet shook her head; she was seriously debating having him transferred as far from the SGC as possible.

"As CMO you could still…" Sam was cut off by the threatening glare Tegan shot in her direction.

"I'm reserving the right for now." Janet watched as Tegan stood and pulled her keys from her pocket.

"You're bike's not here." Daniel reminded, surprised she'd already forgotten riding with him in the back of Sam's Volvo.

"I'll give you a ride." Sam stood and looked at the bespectacled archeologist.

"I'll get a ride with Jack."

Colonel O'Neill nodded his consent.

* * *

><p>As usual Tegan hated being on downtime, she hated even more when General Hammond forced them off the base to take said downtime. It'd been two days and she was afraid she would truly go insane if she couldn't get back to her daily routine soon. She'd gotten some sleep, sort of; she'd changed the oil in the Ducati and the Porsche. She'd waxed her snowboard so it'd be ready next season, she'd gone jogging, mowed the lawn, and read her latest medical Journal.<p>

She glanced at her watch, four hours until she was supposed to meet Sam and Cassie at the mall. She wasn't big on the mall scene, but Sam and Cassie promised it would be fun and Sam was probably climbing the walls too. The doorbell rang pulling her from the daydream, and she jumped to her feet. She thought it might be Sam but saw the odd colored delivery truck idling on the curb, the same not so mainstream parcel distributor that had stopped to ask for directions on her birthday.

"Hello?" She pulled the door open and smiled lightly at the teal uniform that somehow clashed with the truck and logo emblazed on his right breast.

"I have a delivery for a Tegan Kiser."

"That'd be me." She eyed the box in his hand curiously, she hadn't ordered anything, and it wasn't like she had friends who sent things to her by any means especially not gaudy delivery companies.

"I just need your signature here." He pointed to the blank space on his clipboard and waited patiently while she scribbled her John Hancock down. "Have a nice day."

"Thanks." She muttered already taken in by the package he was handing her. She waited until he had bounded down the porch steps before closing the door.

She looked the box over, the address label had been printed on a computer and there was no return address. She frowned and glanced out the picture window as she crossed the living room. The delivery van was still there, the uniformed man sat in the driver's seat with a mobile phone pressed to his ear. She didn't think anything of it; a lot more businesses were making it against regulations to drive while talking on the phone. She grabbed a letter opener from the end table and dropped onto the couch with the box on her lap.

She felt a breeze blow in from the sliding screen door leading to her back deck and took in a refreshing deep breath before slitting the tape on the box. The sides popped open and she flipped the inner flaps out. She gasped as her eyes landed on the well worn teddy bear, smelling musty from the dank out of the way place he'd been stowed in. She couldn't clearly remember when she'd seen him last, had it been before she left for boarding school? Had she only been four or five the last time she'd cuddled him to her chest?

She gingerly lifted him out of the box, afraid of what the years and poor storage had done to his soft velvety skin. His nose was thread bare, much as she'd remembered him. One eye hung haphazardly from a thread that should have been dry rotted by now. He was in so many ways exactly the way she'd remembered him.

She looked at the bottom of the box, there wasn't a note. It was empty except for the air molecules that filled the space. She looked up her eyes finding the delivery van still sitting on the curb. Someone had to know where it came from. She stood up the bear grasped lightly in her right hand. Something hit her in the shoulder, it stung. Instinctively she reached up with her left hand and pulled the tranquilizer dart free. She registered the empty cab of the van, and turned to see the delivery man pushing the screen door fully open. She started to say something, but felt the bear slip through her fingers as the world closed down around her.

* * *

><p>"She promised she'd be here," Cassie whined for the fifth time in as many minutes.<p>

"And she's probably just stuck in traffic." Sam looked out over the food court. "You did tell her to meet us here right?"  
>"No I told her to meet us on Mars," The teenager rolled her eyes at the appropriate time.<p>

"Ok," Sam pulled her phone out and hit one of the speed dial numbers. She held the receiver to her ear until voicemail picked up. She disconnected the call and tried another number. "Tegan, it's Sam if you're there pick up."

Cassie watched as Sam pulled the phone away from her ear. "Did you try her cell phone?"

"She's not answering either one." Sam sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"She's twenty minutes late," Cassie scanned the few customers that were milling about.

"Well, we can either go shopping without her, or we can swing by her place."

"I'm not in the mood to shop anymore." Cassie started in the direction of the parking lot.

* * *

><p>Sam was standing on the front porch when Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c pulled into the driveway. Cassie was sitting on the hood of Sam's old Volvo where Sam had told her to wait. "I didn't call the police, figured I'd leave that up to you and General Hammond."<br>"What happened?" Jack took the four steps two at a time.

"She didn't show at the mall, so Cassie and I came by to check things out. I picked the lock when she didn't answer, and found the screen door wide open. I didn't touch anything, but there's a tranq dart, a cardboard box and an old teddy bear on the floor between the couch and the coffee table."

Jack stepped into the living room with Sam and Teal'c behind him. "The coffee table's out of place."

"Yeah, I noticed that too," Sam looked at the cockeyed piece of furniture. "I'm thinking she hit it when she went down."

"Major Kiser may have fought with her attackers." Teal'c scanned the room.

"Yeah, I don't think so." Jack shook his head as he heard the front door creak. He and Sam spun around at the same time.

"Janet?" Sam looked past the short doctor to see Cassie chasing a butterfly through the yard.

"Cassandra called me. I told her to stay outside," She moved around Colonel O'Neill.

"We don't know who took her." Sam stepped aside.

"No," Jack pulled his phone out. "But we're going to find her."

"I know that bear." Janet pointed to the fallen stuffed animal.

"It looks vaguely familiar," Sam shrugged. "Maybe we saw it when we helped her unpack?"

"I do not believe she had this bear then." Teal'c turned his head to face the two women. "I have seen it before as well."

"In her memory," Janet mentally smacked her forehead. "It was in her lap when she spilled the glass of water."

"I believe you are correct."

* * *

><p>"Wake up!"<p>

The gruff voice was abrasive in her ears and she knew immediately who it was. Even in her drugged state she couldn't have misplaced it, despite not having actually heard it in years. Her neck was stiff from the odd angle her head had been hanging in. She tried to move her arms but they were bound, it took her a minute to process the fact she was seated. With her eyes closed she still recognized the old ladder-back chair, she tried to move her legs but found they too were restrained. She opened her eyes experimentally to find the room obscurely lit, which suited her throbbing head just fine. She knew it was a side effect of the tranquillizer but it still felt like someone had had the party of the century inside her head, problem was they forgot to ask her permission.

Her mouth was dry but she some how managed to remove her tongue from the roof of her mouth. "Father."

"In the flesh," He stood back watching her. "I was afraid my friend gave you too much."

"Your friend?" She quickly found out why she couldn't move her arms and legs, duct tape. Sure it was used to hold the universe together when you had nothing better to use, but she didn't appreciate her calves and the majority of her arms being wrapped mummy like to the armless chair with the gummy tape. It was going to hurt like hell to remove it. Of course she wouldn't have to worry about shaving her legs for the rest of the summer.

"Just someone I paid to pick you up."

"You couldn't just use the phone?"

"You've changed a lot." He wasn't impressed with her sarcasm.

"I'm not some little girl you can shove in the closet anymore." She surmised she wasn't in her childhood home, but rather a warehouse somewhere. Probably still in Colorado, otherwise it'd have to be a pretty heavy drug he'd slipped her to transport her back to Maryland.

"You look like my wife."

"What do you want?" She wasn't in the mood to play his games.

"You killed her and you're going to pay."

"Of course," She watched the anger building inside him, just as it'd always done from the time she was born. "I thought you had a new family, one in which I didn't matter."

"Becky left me."

"And I suppose that's my fault too?"

"Yes," He pulled a pistol from his waistband. "When the money was gone, so was she."

"Three million, that's a lot of money to blow through."

"It was my wife's money."

Even in the dim light Tegan could see the blood spatter on the gun, her stomach tightened and churned. "You killed her?"  
>"You killed her." He repeated the words with anger.<p>

"No, Becky, you killed her." She watched as a mad man's grin grew on his face.

"You look like my wife."

"You mean my mother," It was as much a statement as a question.

"No, she was never your mother. She was my wife and you killed her." The gun shook in his hand. "Everything about you, except those eyes. It was those eyes that killed her."

"Of course," She muttered, he'd always hated her eyes swearing they were the eyes of a rapist.

His finger tightened on the trigger, but in the dim light he couldn't distinguish her eyes from her mother's and he let his hand fall.

"What do you want?" Tegan could barter for her life, if she had too. "You want the million?"

"You can't touch that money until you're thirty, besides you used it for medical school."

"I had full scholarships, I never touched the money."

"They're going to find out that I killed Becky, the money won't do me any good. Besides you've already set a quarter of it to roll over into a trust fund for a Cassandra Fraiser when you turn thirty. And if you die before then, she gets it all. Cassandra Fraiser," He spat the name out like bitter tobacco. "What is she, your lover?"

"She's a little girl who can use the money to go on to college." Tegan felt even sicker knowing she'd inadvertently stood Cassie and Sam up for their little shopping excursion. She only hoped they'd figured out she was missing, and were looking for her.

"So," He returned the gun to the back of his waistband before he kicked a duffle bag into the light and started rummaging through it. "I'm just going to help her get it all."

"If you're going to kill me," She watched as he pulled out a pair of scissors and an electric razor. "Go ahead and get it over with."

"You're not going to get off that easy." He held up his findings and stood. "You killed my wife, and I have lived every day since in pain because of it. I'm going to share some of that with you before you die."

Great, she thought, this was just great. Why didn't anyone want to just kill her? So far she had yet to find a single Goa'uld who would just kill her. They all wanted to torture her and her team for information. Then there was Nirrti the bane of her existence who found much pleasure in torturing her and making sure she lived to deal with it. She'd had enough pain in her life, both physical and mental without his adding still more to it. "You don't think I've missed her every waking moment of my life?"

"You didn't know her. You can't miss someone you never knew!" He shoved the razor in his back pocket and stepped up to Tegan lifting the scissors to her hairline. He was so engrossed in getting rid of her red locks he didn't notice how close his arm was to her face.

She did, and took total advantage of the situation. She took a deep breath and jerked her head forward grabbing the skin on his forearm with her teeth. She bit down, and he pulled back tearing a small chuck of flesh off as he went. She didn't see him swing his right arm down as he cursed her loudly. The scissors tore through the fabric of her shorts and penetrated deep into her left thigh. White and blue heat rippled through her leg, but before she could cry out he back handed her, the taste of her own blood mingling with his in her mouth.


	10. The Child Inside

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 10:**

**The Child Inside**

General Hammond sent a military forensics team out to Tegan's house. He didn't want to get civilians involved if this was some military conspiracy group, or worse yet a Goa'uld running around the planet. When they showed up in uniform, one of Tegan's neighbors ventured out onto his porch, "Hey?"

"Can I help you?" Colonel O'Neill looked in his direction.

"Yeah, are you looking for the redhead?"

"We are," He crossed the yard and met him halfway. Sam was a few paces behind having sent Cassie home with Janet.

"There was a really odd delivery truck parked outside her place for about an hour today. I've seen it pull up in front of her house every day for the past two weeks."

"Can you describe it for us?" Sam stepped forward.

* * *

><p>"There," He tended to his arm while admiring his handy work. "You don't look so much like my wife any more."<p>

It shouldn't bother her in the least, but something about having a pair of scissors sticking out of her leg, and her beautiful red hair sheered from her head and lying in piles on the floor unsettled her. "You're one sick…"

"You just keep telling yourself that, you're the one who killed my wife. I loved her!" He picked up an aluminum baseball bat that was tucked inside the duffle bag.

She braced herself just as the cool metal connected with her upper arm, the loud pop echoing in her ears. She some how knew it had broken in the same exact spot it had when Nirrti was trying to get information. She inhaled the scream that threatened to escape. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. She knew he wouldn't kill her until she had suffered, and if she didn't let him see her pain she just might live long enough to be rescued. She wasn't making any promises to herself though, and instead let the pain pull her into that dark oblivion where she was numb.

* * *

><p>Hours had passed and they were still looking for the van the guy had described as turkey-shit lavender, that purple-bluish color you see in bird poop. Sam was pacing in Janet's living room, Daniel and Teal'c were seated on the couch and Jack was staring aimlessly out the window. They'd followed every lead they had. Now they were just waiting to see if the military search teams turned up anything.<p>

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor, Sam." Daniel looked up.

"He's right." Jack turned to face her. "Save your energy for when they find the van."

As soon as the van was located they would be called in as the recovery team since they had the best intel against possible alien captors. It didn't help slow her pace in the least. She wanted to be out there now, doing something, anything.

* * *

><p>She felt the crushing in her chest pulling her back to the surface of conscious thought. It was hard to breathe, she jerked her head up as her eye lids snapped open. "Can't breathe."<p>

"That's how I feel every morning I awake to someone beside me that isn't my wife, my love."

"Becky?" She struggled to speak as he pushed his work boot deeper into her chest using the wall behind her as leverage.

"Alison." She'd never heard him say her mother's name. She only knew it from seeing her birth certificate. "I never loved Becky, she was merely a distraction."

"You're hurting me."

"Good." He leaned in pressing more of his weight against her sternum. "This is only a fraction of what I have felt everyday since you were born."

She wasn't sure if anything in her chest had been fractured by his weight, but she knew when he pulled his foot away that was going to change. She took a deep breath as he kicked the chair around with his foot, the baseball bat slicing through the air. She felt it slam into her chest, toppling the chair over. She remembered hearing that same chair topple many times as a child, only this time she was still in the chair instead of suspended above it. He reached down and engulfed her neck with his massive hand. Her neck had since grown but the effect was still the same. He tightened his fingers until her face turned purple and her eyes rolled back in her head.

* * *

><p>"They've found the van." Jack closed his phone. "It's an hour from here in front of an abandoned warehouse."<p>

* * *

><p>"Why don't you just get this over with and kill me?" Her head was throbbing again, but this time it was where it had bounced on the concrete floor earlier. She found herself abruptly pulled into an upright position.<p>

"Because you haven't suffered enough."

"I didn't kill her, and you know it. I was a baby, she chose to give her life so that I could live." She'd read part of her mother's journal while she was locked in the attic over summer break when she was ten.

He held his hands over his ears and started shouting. "You killed her."

"You know I didn't. How could I?"

"Shut up!" He backhanded her again, her already swollen lip splitting open even more. "You killed her."

There was the sound of banging metal as the door behind him flew open; he spun to see where the commotion had come from while reaching for the gun in his pants. Tegan used what strength she had left to tip her chair forward toppling it into the back of his knees effectively dropping him to the concrete floor. Ignoring the pain of the shifting scissors she yelled out, "He's got a gun!"

"If you know what's good for you," Jack spoke as he stepped on the gun that had slipped just out of his grasp. "You won't move."

"I'm calling local PD," Sam announced when she recognized Tegan's father and knew it was no longer a matter of national security.

Teal'c picked Tegan up chair and all, while Jack used the remaining duct tape to secure her father. Within five minutes Officer Ripley and his partner arrived on the scene. "You two don't know how to stay out of trouble do you?"

"You caught the call?" Sam smiled at her friend.

"Yeah, lucky me."

"Can you take her statement? We need to get her to the infirmary on base."

"I can call for a bus," Ripley offered.

"That won't be necessary, Sam can get her to the base infirmary before a squad can get her to the hospital and we have a doctor waiting for her." Jack hoped he wouldn't have to explain the situation anymore than that.

Once they'd taken the photos they'd need to convict Tegan's father Jack used his field knife to cut the duct tape free from the legs of the chair. Sam did her best to stabilize the scissors in her leg afraid they may have breached a major blood vessel before Teal'c carefully lifted her and carried her to Jack's waiting truck.

* * *

><p>General Hammond stood silently watching as Sam jumped out of the truck's cab with Teal'c scrambling out from the extension. They helped Janet load a bald Major Kiser onto the gurney, she appeared broken and he had to look away.<p>

"I think she's in shock," Sam locked eyes with Janet. "She's got a pair of scissors embedded in her left thigh, and she's not using her right arm at all. "We didn't even try to remove the duct tape."

Janet snapped into her professional role, this wasn't the time or the place to be anything but Dr. Janet Fraiser Chief medical officer. She looked to Marcus, and the other medic standing beside him. "Let's get her to the infirmary. I want an IV of lactated ringers hung wide open, and warm blankets. We'll work on her labs and assessing any internal injuries as soon as we get her stable."

General Hammond listened as her voice trailed off down the corridor before looking to Sam. "Where's Colonel O'Neill?"

"He stayed behind to help with subterfuge." Sam ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"What happened?"

* * *

><p>"Doctor?" General Hammond stepped into the infirmary.<p>

"I'll be out in just a minute, sir." She turned to Marcus, "Give her 15mg meperidine IV push. And keep an eye on her respirations. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Yes ma'am."

"Doctor, how is she?"

"Well she's got a nasty laceration to her left thigh, which had fabric shreds and hair in it. I managed to clean it up and close it. Her right humerus is fractured; luckily it was a pretty clean break. I've reduced the fracture and immobilized it as best as I can. I won't be able to cast it because of the location of the break." She flipped open Tegan's chart not that she needed any help remembering the injuries. "She's got several fractured ribs, and a hemathorax. Basically she's bleeding into her chest cavity from the trauma she received. If it gets much worse I'm going to have to do a needle aspiration. I suspect she's got a mild concussion, she's not talking, but she does have quite a goose egg."

She paused and shook her head, "I managed to get most of the duct tape off. The rest of her physical injuries are minor."

"Physical injuries?" Colonel O'Neill turned away from the small window in the door to face her.

"Yes sir, as I said she isn't talking. We know very little about what she went through." Janet closed the chart and looked at Jack before continuing. "We saw what kind of mental torture Nirrti tried to put her through using her childhood memories, I have a feeling this incident has just added more fuel to that fire."

"What are you trying to say Dr. Fraiser?"

She looked at General Hammond for a minute, "That it's going to take time sir."

"Very well doctor. I trust that you will let me know when she can return to active duty."

"Yes sir," Janet watched as he walked away before turning to Sam and Teal'c who'd remained quite. "Where's Daniel?"

"He's reading Cassie a bedtime story," Jack looked over as he rounded the corner. "Well, he was."

"Hey," Daniel jogged up to the group. "Cassie's asleep in your quarters."

"Thank you Daniel."

"How's Tegan?"

"I'll let Sam fill you in. I need to get back in there." She canted her head to the infirmary doors. "And before you ask, no visitors. Not tonight."

She'd drifted off, an effect of the pain medications Janet had been slipping into her IV port at regular intervals. She opened her eyes and found her self transported back to the cold basement of her childhood. She was ten again, and instead of spending this Christmas alone in the relative warmth of the abandoned boarding school corridors, she was locked away in the dungeon like a three-eyed creature of the night. One of her teachers had come in early after Thanksgiving break to find Tegan playing hopscotch in the halls, she'd made it her personal mission to be sure Tegan didn't spend Christmas alone. If she'd only known what kind of hell she was making for the girl, maybe she would've left well enough alone.

The door leading to the basement opened and closed before she could catch a glimpse of who was there. Whoever it was left behind a plate of cold congealed canned dog food, it was her Christmas dinner. She was supposed to be thankful. Instead she poked at it with her finger and placed it where her father would step in it the next time he came in.

She heard a creaking sound, and jumped. Her eyes flew open as she realized it wasn't the basement door. Janet was there in a second and put a comforting hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Sorry, I was moving your IV pump."

Janet searched her eyes watching as the fear slowly dissipated. It wasn't something she was used to seeing any where on Tegan, and it tore a hole deep inside her. "How are you feeling?"

Tegan looked away staring off into the distance. Janet stood with one hand on the bed's side rail, staring into those lost pools of green for several minutes. She didn't know what to say, how to break through. She sighed, letting her shoulders drop ever so slightly before she turned. As her hand started to drift from the side rail she felt a panicked grip on her fingers. She turned back to see the fear evident in her eyes. "It's ok. I'll stay."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Paige put a hand on Janet's shoulder. "You need to get some rest, I'll sit with her."<p>

"I," Janet hesitated, but knew there was nothing more she could do for Tegan who was once again sleeping thanks to the medications she'd been slipping in her IV port. "Alright, wake me up if you need me."

Rather than reminding Janet she went to medical school too, she just nodded. She was still sitting there a few hours later when Tegan woke up. "Hey T, how are you feeling?"

She stared listlessly at Paige for a few minutes before looking down at the sling and swath immobilizing her arm. She gingerly licked the laceration on her swollen lip before resting her head back and closing her eyes.

* * *

><p>Janet made her way through the double doors of the infirmary with Tegan's latest chest x-rays in her hand. She looked up immediately spotting an empty bed where Tegan had been less than ten minutes ago. "Thompson, where's Major Kiser?"<p>

"She was," He looked up surprised the bed was vacant, "just there, ma'am."

"Tegan?" Janet tossed the films onto a nearby bed and started to panic just as she spotted the slightest movement on the opposite side of the bed. She rounded the corner and saw Tegan on the floor trying to hide under the bed.

She had pushed herself as far under the bed as the mid beam under the motorized hospital bed allowed. In another situation Janet might have found it funny, instead she just saw a frightened child in an adult body.

"I thought I told you to stay in bed?" She knelt beside the bed and spoke quietly. "Think we can get you back in bed?"

"Hey, what's going on?" Paige walked over.

"Could you give me a hand getting her back in bed?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>"Colonel, I don't know what to do." Janet sat behind her desk having left instructions that Julie keep a close eye on Tegan. "She's still not really responding, and aside from the fact she'll barely eat anything she's stabilized enough that I can't see keeping her here."<p>

"Do you think she'd do better in a more familiar environment?"

"I'm hoping, I just don't know."

"I'm willing to let Cassie stay with me if you think she'd do better at your place." Sam put her offer on the table, "And anything else you need."

"I just don't know what's best right now. I want to try it, but I don't know how to explain the situation to General Hammond."

"I'll take care of it. You're technically supposed to be on downtime anyway, we all are." Colonel O'Neill stood up. "I don't think it's going to be a problem, but I'll let you know."

"Hey," Sam looked across the small office at Janet after Jack had gone. "It's only been thirty-six hours since we found her, she'll get through this."

"I hope so Sam, I really do."

That afternoon Janet helped Tegan get settled in the living room. A yellow and orange tie dyed bandana Cassie had bought her adorned her hairless head.

Janet stood up and stretched her back. She watched as Tegan stirred but seemed to settle, while debating just jumping in the shower and leaving her to hopefully sleep on the couch. Deciding against it, she slipped into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Yellow," Jack answered his phone.

"Colonel it's Janet," She opened the fridge and checked the date on the milk.

"Hey Doc, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you could come by and sit with Tegan for a bit while I get a shower." She didn't bother to tell him that she would've called Sam except she and Cassie were at the movies.

"Mind if Teal'c comes along?"

"Not at all Colonel."

"Give me forty-five minutes I need to make some calls and a stop on the way."

She thanked him and hung up the phone. As she walked back into the living room she noticed the couch was empty. She let out a sigh, "Tegan?"

She quickly checked the front door that was still dead bolted, before doing a thorough search of her den/office to make sure Tegan wasn't hiding under the desk or behind her potted plant. Even though reasoning told her Tegan wasn't capable of folding her lithe five foot ten body small enough to hide behind the overgrown fern.

She was ready to expand her search to the upper level when she noticed the door to the coat closet in the hall open the slightest bit. She rested her hand on the knob, "Tegan? Are you in here?"

The diffuse light from the hallway flooded the small space as Janet pulled the door open. Tucked into the back corner and wrapped around her injured arm was Tegan. She looked up at Janet with that deer caught in the headlights look.

"Oh Tegan honey," Again Janet felt that pang that was tearing a hole somewhere deep in her soul. "It's ok."

She moved a pair of rain boots out of the way and crawled under the coats to sit next to her friend and patient. "I'm not going to hurt you, you're safe here."

Tegan buried her face in her knees, a coat knocking the bandanna from her head in the process.

"Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c are on their way, you know they wouldn't let anything happen to you."


	11. Famous Firehouse Chili

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 11:**

**Famous Firehouse Chili**

"Thanks for…" Janet opened the door to reveal Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c who looked like a pack mule.

Colonel O'Neill watched her brow crease into a frown. "Dinner's at six, Daniel, Sam and Cassie are coming."

"Sir, I don't think that's a good idea." She complained as Jack pushed past her.

"I'm fixing my five alarm firehouse chili," He smiled like that would make everything alright. "Tegan likes my chili."

"I do not believe Major Kiser has ever had your chili," Teal'c raised one eyebrow.

"Everybody loves my chili big guy," Jack looked around the living room. "Speaking of Major Kiser?"

"She's hiding in the coat closet," Janet pointed. "I was trying to get her out when you rang the doorbell."

"Teal'c why don't you take that stuff to the kitchen?" He jerked his head in the general direction. "Is she talking at all?"

"No sir, there's really been no change."

"Go on, get your shower. Take long hot bath if you'd like, Teal'c and I can handle this."

"Thank you sir."

Jack nodded as Janet headed up the stairs. He then turned to the open closet door. "What cha doing in there Kiser?"

She reminded him of a frightened child huddled in the corner as tight and as small as she could make herself. He sat down with his back against the doorframe so he was facing her. He didn't say anything, he just sat there. After ten minutes he stood up and held his hand out to her. He wasn't as young as he used to be and as the fifth minute ticked away he was ready to give up when he felt cool slender fingers wrap around his and he gently helped her out and back to the couch.

* * *

><p>"How was your bath?" Jack looked up from where he sat on the opposite end of the couch from Tegan.<p>

"It was a shower," Janet ran her hands through dark wet locks. "And it was very nice, thank you. How'd you get her out?"

"I told her there were hairy spiders in the closet." Jack smiled before winking at Teal'c who was sitting in the chair.

"You didn't?" Janet picked up the bandanna Jack had laid on the coffee table.

"No, I'm not really sure how, she just came out when she was ready." Jack checked his watch. "We're going to get the chili started."

* * *

><p>Jack put a bowl full of steaming chili in front of Tegan, before taking his own to the only empty place left at the table. Just as he was about to take his first bite, he saw Tegan move, reaching for her water. Only she missed judged where it was sitting and knocked it over. Instinctively he jumped up to grab the glass, his chair toppling in the process.<p>

Tegan froze, her eyes as big as saucers. Jack pulled her into an embrace holding her as tightly as he dared considering her injuries.

"It's ok," He whispered over and over again while Sam up righted his chair and placed it so he could sit back down without moving away.

Jack continued to hold her for several minutes before he felt the tension in her body release. He waited another minute before moving his hands carefully to her shoulders and moved back so he could look her in the eye. "That's what should have happened when you were little."

He searched her face until she slowly closed her eyes. He let his hands fall away, "Let's eat before it gets cold."

When she opened her eyes again Janet had cleaned up the spilt water and put a fresh glass in its wake.

"I don't know about you Tegan," Sam grinned, "But I'm starved."

"Me too," Cassie picked up her spoon and started eating.

Tegan stared at her chili while Janet watched her closely. She looked over at Jack and smiled when Tegan picked up her spoon and ate about a quarter of what was in her bowl. It wasn't as much as Janet would've like, but it was better than nothing.

Cassie eagerly answered the phone when it sprang to life while Daniel and Sam did their best to clean up the dishes, a few minutes later she bounced into the living room. "It's Gillian, she wants to know if I can spend the night."

"I thought you were staying with Sam?"

"I am, but…" She didn't want to hurt Sam's feelings by saying she wasn't as fun.

"I don't mind, if Sam says it's ok."

"Thanks," She smiled knowing she could get Sam to agree to anything.

Once the guys left with Cassie in tow, Sam joined Janet in the living room. "I don't mind staying, I can sleep on the couch."

Janet shook her head, "You can stay if you want, but you can have the guest room. I'm going to put her in my room tonight. I think it's the only way she'll get any sleep. I know it's the only way I will."

"Yeah," Sam smiled sadly imaging her friend hiding under the bed in the infirmary and in the back of the coat closet. Despite knowing the stories weren't made up, she had a hard time picturing Tegan afraid of anything. Even now witnessing the shell of the woman, it all seemed so surreal.

"I'll be right back," Janet stood up and started to move away from the couch when she felt Tegan grab the hem of her t-shirt. "Tegan, it's ok I'm just going to the bathroom."

Sam moved to where Janet had just been sitting and carefully pulled Tegan's fingers free. Tegan turned and curled into her side as Sam wrapped an arm around her.

When Janet returned she took Sam's place in the chair. "Thanks Sam."

"I don't mind, really." She pulled Tegan a little tighter.

* * *

><p>She could feel the warmth of a body pressed up against hers, as sunlight caressed her face; the rhythmic breathing beside her as her own heart rate quickened. She heard the breathing pattern change as the arm draped around her pulled her closer. "It's ok Tegan."<p>

Her eyes popped open, she couldn't remember how'd she gotten there, or even why she'd be in Janet's bed. She pulled away as pain ripped through her upper arm, she couldn't suppress the agonized groan as it crossed her lips.

"Tegan," Janet sat up immediately concerned. "Do you need something for pain?"

"What am I doing here?" She looked around only slightly relieved they were both wearing pajamas.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Janet watched the cyclone of emotions brewing in the shifting green irises that looked back at her.

Tegan shook her head, "I don't know."

She was relieved Tegan was talking again, but the lack or memory concerned her.

She ran her hand over her head feeling the slightest stubble of a couple days growth on her head, she clenched her eyes shut. "He shaved my head."

"Who?" Janet moved so she was sitting Indian style next to her prone friend.

"My father," Her voice was detached. "I remember someone coming into the warehouse, and…"

"And?"

"Did we have chili for dinner?" Tegan opened her eyes again.

Janet smiled, "We did."

"I remember spilling my drink and Jack," She didn't correct herself, "holding me. Telling me it was ok."

"Anything else?"

"Not really," Tegan thought. "Well, aside from what my father did to me no. Is he…"

"He's still alive, but he's currently in jail."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah," She grimaced as she moved her leg.

"Let me give you something for pain."

"No," She pushed herself to the side of the bed. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Let me help you."

Tegan gave her, her best 'you've got to be kidding me' look. "No, I can do it."

Tegan closed the door to the master bath and flipped the light on, catching a glimpse of her hairless head for the first time. She let out an audible gasp.

"Tegan are you alright?" Janet's voice was muffled through the door.

"Fine." She shook her head and padded to the toilet. She didn't recognize the pajamas she was wearing, for one it was a matching top and bottom set with a button down top. She didn't own any button down nightshirts, but the pants fit so they didn't belong to Janet. She wondered briefly if they belonged to Sam, another moan escaping; a combination of pain assaulting her ribs, thigh and arm.

"Tegan?" This time it was Sam's voice coming through the door.

"I'm fine," She carefully lowered herself onto the cool seat before letting her overfilled bladder relieve itself.

"Janet wants to know if you want Demerol or Morphine with your eggs?"

"Funny," she sighed. "I don't want any of it."

"You need to eat," Janet called out.

"Think we can talk about this when I'm finished peeing?"

"So?" Janet asked from her perch on the side of the bed when Tegan came out of the bathroom.

Tegan looked at the oversized long sleeved men's chambray shirts lying on the bed, there was a blue one and a white one, and a pair of navy blue cargo shorts. Tegan was certain the cargo shorts were hers but she didn't recognize the men's shirts. "I have a couple t-shirts in the guest room."

"I meant breakfast and pain meds."

"I don't need them and I'm not hungry. Where'd the shorts come from?"

"I picked up some things from your place," Sam sat on the corner of the bed. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, you could've brought me some t-shirts though."

Sam stood up to offer her seat to Tegan.

"No t-shirts," Janet watched Tegan decline the offer to sit. "You've got a fracture to your upper humerus. It was too high to cast, and I don't want you lifting and twisting your arm trying to get into a t-shirt. The shirts are mine, they're clean."

Tegan looked at her for a second.

"I sleep in them."

"I imagine they come down to your knees," She smiled.

"Back to breakfast," Janet ignored the short comment.

Tegan picked up the blue shirt. "I'm thinking sans bra."

"I don't mind helping you."

Tegan looked down at the sling and swath, it wouldn't matter if she wore a bra or not. "I'll just need help getting this thing back on."

"Alright."

Tegan followed Janet downstairs where Sam was in the kitchen cutting up cantaloupe. "Why don't you get comfortable on the couch, and I'll bring you something to eat."

She rolled her eyes rather than pushing the issue that she wasn't hungry.

Ten minutes later Janet came out with a plate loaded with eggs, toast, bacon, and cantaloupe. She handed it to Tegan and sat a glass of orange juice on the end table. Sam was right behind her with her own plate and settled in the chair while Janet went back to grab hers.

She managed to eat a couple bites of egg, a slice of bacon, and half her toast before moving it to the coffee table. "Janet, where do you keep the Tylenol?"

"You need something stronger than Tylenol." Janet sat her empty plate aside. "I had a prescription of Lorcet filled for you, take it."

"How about Motrin?"

"I wish you'd take the Lorcet."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because, I… I need to tell you all my story. But I want the guys here so I only have to tell it once."

"Ok," Janet nodded.

"I'll give them a call," Sam pulled her cell phone out as Janet got up to get Tegan something for pain.

"I'm home!" Cassie yelled as she came in the front door.

"We're in the living room." Janet put four oblong pills in Tegan's hand.

"800 milligrams?"

"You're lucky it's not more, just take it."

"Gilly let me borrow her PSP," Cassie held it out to her mom as she came up to the couch. She looked at Tegan as Janet took it from her. "Feeling better?"

Tegan raised one eyebrow in question, "Thanks for the bandanna."

"Oh," Cassie unzipped her duffle bag, "That reminds me, Gillian's mom asked me to give you these."

Tegan took the stack of five bandannas from her, "I still like yours the best."

"Yeah," Cassie smiled more to herself. "You're a little better."

"You need to be really careful with this," Janet handed the portable game system back to her.

"I will be." Cassie held her fingers a few inches above Tegan's remaining bacon. "You done?"

"Help yourself."

Sam laid her phone on the coffee table, "they'll be here in about an hour."

"Cass, when the guys get here I want you to take the bean bags in the den and play your thing," She wasn't up on the things kids played these days. "Or play in the back yard or your room."

"Adult stuff?"

"Yeah," Janet agreed.

"Ok," she shrugged.

* * *

><p>When the guys arrived Janet stood up, "I'll be up stairs if you need anything."<p>

"No," Tegan spoke softly, "I want you to stay, please."

She didn't have to ask twice, Janet glanced at Colonel O'Neill who nodded as she sat back down beside Tegan.

Several minutes passed before Tegan spoke again, "I…" She sighed, "I don't know where to start… I mean, I guess there are some things I only kind of know. Things I've had to piece together, from snippets of my mom's journal and my own memory."

No one spoke in the silence that followed while Tegan collected her thoughts. She didn't want to appear weak, but she also knew she had to do this. Not just for herself, but for her team. Janet was there because she was her doctor, more importantly on some level they were all there because they were her friends. "I've never told anyone about this before. I guess my story started sometime after my parents met. My mom had been told at an early age that she couldn't have children, and that carrying a baby to term and delivering would ensure her own death. Even a c-section was too risky.

"So they agreed before they got married they wouldn't have any children. Two years into their blissful marriage my mother was raped, so Randall isn't really my father, he never was. My mother made him promise to take care of me no matter what happened to her, and he did just that. He made sure I got an education, and that I had shelter and clothes, and to an extent food."

She shuttered lightly remembering some of the things that could be passed off as food. "Besides making him promise to take care of me and not put me up for adoption, she chose my name, and got her affairs in order.

"My maternal grandmother took care of me until I was about four," She closed her eyes for several minutes trying to remember what she'd looked like, her thick Irish accent. She shook her head lightly and opened her eyes. "One day she asked what I wanted for lunch, and then she fell over. When Randall came home her found her on the floor and I was hiding in the closet. She was dead; he blamed me for that too. It wasn't long after that, that he shipped me off to boarding school.

"I learned early on I was better off hiding in my room for long weekends and holidays than I was going home. The first couple holidays they had to call him to pick me up, he'd met a woman named Becky and she was living with him by then. I spent Christmas and winter holidays at home locked in the unfinished basement with a cot and a single forty watt light bulb over head, in the summer I was put in the hot attic.

"I was given one meal a day, and it was cold table scraps from off their plates. On more than one occasion I was given dog food for dinner."

Janet watched as Tegan shifted beside her. "Do you need something else for pain?"

"Not yet," Tegan shook her head and continued. "Life was pretty uneventful at school. I studied all the time, I joined a choir at seven or eight just to give my head a break from the books. I played soccer and volleyball when I was old enough. Once a year like clockwork Randal would call and remind me it was the day I killed my mother, and I knew from this I was another year older."

"At some point he signed guardianship over to the school, I think I had pneumonia or something, and he really didn't care about what was going on in my life. It was really a blessing, I don't think he ever would have let me go to college, but it wasn't really his decision when the time came." Tegan sat there letting the silence expand, she shouldn't be this tired, this worn out, but she was emotionally spent. "You pretty much know the rest of it."

Janet looked at her watch, "It's time for your antibiotic, I don't want that leg getting infected."

Tegan surprised her by asking her to bring her two Lorcet with it.

"Do you want something stronger? I've got morphine locked in my medical bag."

Tegan shook her head no as Janet stood up.

"I've got stuff for sandwiches and drinks in the fridge if anyone's hungry help yourself," Janet glanced back at Tegan who had closed her eyes.

"I've got a question," Daniel spoke softly as Janet went to check on Cassie in the den. "Why did he shave your head? And more importantly why did he come looking for you?"

"He wanted to kill me," She stated without opening her eyes and felt Sam shift on the couch. "My hair reminded him of my mother, and he couldn't kill me if I looked like her."

"Well," Jack watched Janet walk back in, "as far as I'm concerned this stays here, just like everything else we learned through Nirrti's torture sessions."

"Hold your hand out," Janet softly instructed.

Tegan lifted her head and watched as Janet tapped two white pills into her hand and a giant horse pill sized antibiotic. She put them in her mouth and then took the waiting bottle of water to wash them down. "I think General Hammond needs to know, and he can make the call as far as if it should go in my military record or not."

"Hey," Jack waited until she was looking him in the eye. "We've all got things in our past that haunt us."

"I realize that sir, I just…"

"I'll talk to him." Jack agreed.

"I think you can let Cassie out of the dungeon now," Tegan joked lightly wondering if she was feeling the effects of the pain meds, or all the stress she'd just been through.

"What's on your mind big guy?"

"I was just thinking how much Major Kiser's father sounds like a Goa'uld," Teal'c looked up from his spot on the floor.

"Thanks Teal'c, it makes me feel better."

"Everything considered, I think you turned out alright."

"Just alright Colonel?" Tegan closed her eyes a smile pulling at her lips.

"Nah, you turned out pretty good."

"Thank you sir."


	12. Family

**The Tegan Chronicles 3**

**Silent Screams 12:**

**Family**

"Cassie?" Janet stood in the doorway to the den. "Cass!"

"What?" She pulled her earphones off.

"I've got stuff in the kitchen for lunch, go fix your self a sandwich."

"Doritos?"

Janet nodded as the teen hopped to her feet, barely stopping to say hi to the guys as she ran into the kitchen.

Jack moved to the couch beside Tegan and lowered his voice, "Thanks for trusting us."

"Thanks for letting me," She smiled lightly as he patted her right knee.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah I am."

"Just like that?"

Janet had come back into the living room and stood behind the chair where she could see Tegan's expression.

"Just like that."

"But your dad tried to kill you," Daniel kept his voice down so Cassie wouldn't hear him.

"He wasn't my dad, he didn't donate his DNA for my creation, he surely never loved me like a father." She shook her head. "I'm sorry I kind of broke down, I just needed time to process. I would have been fine if this hadn't happened right on the heels of the memories Nirrti helped resurface."

"No need to apologize," Janet smiled. "It's actually a normal human response, but you did have me a little worried."

"You had us all worried kid." Jack stood up and stretched his back.

"Sorry," She looked down at her leg for a second.

"Doc's right no need to apologize, we're family."

"I've never had…"

"Well you do now," Sam kept her from having to finish the statement.

"Dysfunctional as we are," Daniel hopped up off the floor.

"Indeed," Teal'c watched Cassie come into the living room.

"Can I sit here?" Cassie nodded to the empty cushion to Tegan's right.

"Yeah," Tegan nodded.

"What do you want on your sandwich," Janet asked as Sam followed the guys into the kitchen her stomach growling.

Tegan glanced at Cassie's hoagie roll and shook her head.

Janet pretended to not notice. "I've got turkey, ham, roast beef, romaine, green peppers, onions, dill pickles, mustard, honey mustard, mayo, ketchup, jalapenos. Tell me what you want or you're getting it all."

Tegan let out a frustrated sigh, "Turkey, honey mustard, extra romaine, pickle on the side, and a Pepsi if you have it."

"See how easy that was," Janet grinned like the Cheshire cat before heading off to the kitchen.

Cassie looked thoughtfully at Tegan.

"What?"

"Nothing," Cassie took a big bite of her sandwich as continued to look at her.

"Then stop staring," Tegan smiled lightly.

"What happened?"

"I broke my arm, a couple ribs," She watched Sam sit down on the floor putting her plate and drink in front of her.

"That's not what I meant."

Cassie was trying to reword the question when Jack dropped a two pack of Hostess cupcakes on her lap distracting her, "You forgot your cupcakes."

"Mmmm," Tegan grinned. "Chocolate."

"Does it hurt?" Cassie looked at her arm.

"No, your mom hooked me up." Her head was swimming through a Motrin tainted pool of Hydrocodone and Tylenol, as she pointed to the pill bottles setting on the end table.

"I don't know how you're still awake after downing two of those babies," Jack settled in the chair.

"It's a struggle."

"Major Kiser," Teal'c held out a plate with Tegan's sandwich cut in half, a pickle, a small serving of Doritos, and a hostess cupcake on it.

"Thanks Teal'c," She took the plate and balanced it on her right thigh.

"Daniel Jackson is bringing your drink."

"Its right here," Daniel sat it on an empty coaster on the end table.

"Thanks Daniel."

"No problem."

When Janet returned with her plate she sat on the other side of Cassie and glanced at Tegan who was still balancing her untouched plate on her thigh. "Hey?"

"Yeah?" She responded.

"Are you still in pain?"

"No," Tegan handed her plate to Cassie and pointed to the coffee table. "Thanks. The meds are helping but one of them is upsetting my stomach."

"Do you need Phenergan?"

"Are you trying to knock me out?" Tegan reached for her Pepsi and took a few sips.

"You know it wouldn't hurt for you to get some rest," Janet reminded.

Tegan just shook her head. She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to relive those memories over and over again. Some of the memories she'd managed to keep tucked away since they'd happened and now here they were bouncing around her head like an unwanted horror flick. It was hard enough locking them away the first time, maybe Janet was right, maybe she was better at running away.

"Tegan," Janet watched her stare off into oblivion. "Hey?"

"Hmm?" Tegan's left eyebrow queried. When she cut her eyes over to Janet, Cassie was missing from the couch. "Where's Cass?"

"She's up stairs changing."

"I'm taking her 'go karting.'" Jack grinned.

"It's just called 'karting,'" Cassie corrected him from the hallway entrance, "and I'm ready to go."

"You want me to bring her back here?" He directed his question to Sam as Teal'c stood.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"You coming along Danny?"

"Why not," Daniel shrugged. "You're paying right?"

Jack laughed as they headed out the door.

"Why don't you get some rest?"

"Because I'm not tired," Tegan sighed.

Janet looked at Tegan's untouched lunch, "What do you want for dinner?"

Tegan looked at the digital read out on Janet's stereo, dinner was still several hours away.

As if reading her mind Janet added, "I know your stomach's upset, but what do you think you'll be able to eat?"

"I really don't know."

Janet wondered what was worse, the way Tegan's dad treated her, or that she never had a mother or grandmother who made comfort foods for her, "Soup?"

"Just make whatever you want and I'll eat it?" Tegan sighed and looked at Sam. "What do you want to eat, because you know the guys are going to get Cassie hot dogs at the karting place?"

"I'll eat whatever you want," Sam smiled not letting Tegan off that easily.

"That's the problem, I don't want anything." She closed her eyes pain flittering across her features.

"I've still got Morphine if you need it," Janet offered.

"No."

"I picked up your mp3 player when I got your clothes if you want it," Sam stood and stretched before rubbing her sore legs from sitting Indian style on the floor.

"Thanks."

Sam returned with Tegan's mp3 player from upstairs, and started to hand it to her.

"You can plug it into the stereo if you want," Janet pointed to Cassie's cord that was still sticking out the front port.

Sam looked at Tegan.

"If you want to listen to my music that's fine, otherwise I can use the headphones." Tegan rested her head on the back of the couch when Sam turned to the stereo.

"Are you sure that's Tegan's mp3 player and not Cassie's?" Janet asked after Sam connected the device and hit resume.

"Where do you think Cass gets her music taste from?" Sam pointed to Tegan.

"Hey, she doesn't like all my music." Tegan shifted on the couch.

"Do you want to lay down?"

"No, Sam needs a place to sit."

"I can sit on the floor." Sam pointed to the spot she'd been in earlier.

"Or," Janet stood up. "We can have the couch and you can have the recliner, you'll probably be more comfortable over here anyway."

Tegan nodded and lifted her head moving gingerly to the edge of the couch. She let Sam help her to her feet and shuffled over to the chair. Her body relaxed into the warmth left behind by Janet.

"Hold on," Janet warned before moving the lever to recline the back and elevate the footrest. "How's that?"

"Better," as much as she hated to be doted on, she thought she could get used to this.

Janet and Sam talked while Tegan reclined in the chair with her eyes closed. After about forty-five minutes Sam looked over at her, "Is she asleep?"

"No," Janet shook her head.

"How can you tell?"

"The tension in her face, and her respirations."

"Damn you're good," Tegan mumbled.

"It's time that you can take something else for pain."

"Do you know what I want?" Tegan opened her eyes.

"For me to leave you alone?"

"No," Tegan chuckled lightly.

"What?"

"Nothing, it…" She shook her head, "it's stupid."

"No, tell me, what do you want?"

"It's crazy," She swallowed, "but I'm craving a milkshake."

"From Ken's Dairy Barn?" Sam hopped off the couch. "I'll get it, what flavor?"

"Chocolate peanut butter," Tegan started to reach for her back pocket.

"If you're reaching for your wallet, it's locked up in my office on base."

"I've got it," Sam looked at Janet, "What kind do you want? My treat."

"Double Dutch chocolate," Janet started to stand. "Let me give you some money."

"I've got it," Sam rolled her eyes, "don't worry about it."

"Have you thought about dinner yet?" Janet asked after Sam left.

"Milkshake?" Tegan grinned.

Janet cleared her throat.

"What've you got that's easy to fix?"

"I could make chef salad with the left over deli meats, I could do baked potatoes and we could do broccoli and cheese on top, or there's probably enough of Jack's chili left over to go on one them. I've got canned soup, Lipton noodle soup, I could make mac and cheese…"

Tegan laughed lightly interrupting her, "Baked potatoes sound good to me, but I really don't want anything on mine besides maybe a little butter. So fix what ever you and Sam want on yours."

"I'll fix broccoli and if Sam wants chili she can heat it up."

Tegan adjusted her position, "Ouch Bastard!"

"Tegan?"

"Sorry," She apologized despite Janet being concerned and not reprimanding. She clenched her teeth, and waited for it to pass. "Spasm in my chest, and he was a bastard if not in the truest sense."

"I would've said asshole, but I'm not sure there is a word that wraps him up." Janet watched her relax a little, "Lorcet?"

"When the milkshakes get here," She promised.

* * *

><p>Janet reached across the gap between the sofa and recliner to take Tegan's milkshake cup, "Stop fighting it."<p>

"I'm not," She let Janet slide the empty cup easily from her fingers.

"You are, let the medication work its magic. I'll wake you up in a couple hours to eat."

"I'm not tired," She sighed lightly.

* * *

><p>"What's so funny?" Janet noticed the amused grin on Tegan's lips.<p>

"I was just thinking how long it's going to be before I need to get a hair cut."

"I guess there are positives in everything," Janet stood up. "I'm going to go start the pasta and fix our salads."

Janet felt arms slide beneath her own as she stood at the counter chopping up vegetables for there tossed salads. The arms tightened and pulled her back ever so slightly, "I love you mom."

"I love you too Cass," Janet turned her ever so slightly as her daughter released her from the backwards hug. "What was that for?"

Cassie walked around the counter dividing the kitchen and dinning room, and dropped unceremoniously into a chair. "I just know how lucky I am to have you, that's all."

"You were spying on us the other day weren't you?" She stopped chopping long enough to give Cassie her patented raised eyebrow.

"I wasn't spying," Cassie grinned. "I just happened to over hear part of the conversation."

"You had your headphones on," Janet reminded.

"Had being the operative word," Cassie offered an apology with her eyebrows.

Janet sighed, "You shouldn't have eavesdropped Cassie."

"I know," She put on her best puppy dog face. "I shouldn't have, but I was worried about Tegan. I'm sorry."

Janet nodded. "Go wash up for dinner."

* * *

><p>Janet sat on the couch beside Tegan who was healing pretty quickly and without complications which Janet was thankful for. She hadn't really talked much more about her past, or her recent experiences, and Janet had been respectful of her needing space in that regard. She had opened up and trusted them, had actually wanted Janet there when she shared her story. She knew Tegan would be returning to work before she really wanted her too, but it was all part of life. She was sure Tegan would be getting injured and end up in the infirmary far too soon as well; but as Tegan had once pointed out, and Janet had to concede, it came with the job or more accurately the assignment.<p>

Janet looked over at Tegan noticing for the first time the faint strains of music coming out of the stereo. She assumed she'd just gotten used to hearing it almost 24/7 with Tegan there and it wasn't loud enough that she normally noticed it.

_And so it goes,_

_And so it goes,_

_And so will you soon_

_I suppose._

"What are you thinking about?" Janet wished she could read her mind a lot these days.

"Nothing," Tegan glanced at her.

"And I'm the queen of England."

"Really," Tegan pursed her lips together for a second, "I always thought she was British?"

"Funny," Janet shook her head.

"I don't know," Tegan let out a sigh. "I guess I'm wondering what life would have been like if she didn't die.

"Would they have always been happy? Would she have loved me? Would he? Would they have been proud of me? Would I have made the same life choices? Would I even be me?"

They were all emblematic questions, merely thoughts and possibly dreams of a curious mind.

"Well," Janet finally spoke. "I know she would have loved you, and I'm glad despite everything you made the choices you did."

"Why?"

"Because, we may not have met otherwise."

"Yeah, but I'm such a pain, remember?"

"You can be," Janet grinned. "But we all have our moments."

"You weren't supposed to agree with me." Tegan mirrored the grin.

What she didn't tell Janet as her smile faded was that intermittently unwanted thoughts pranced through her mind, like the remnants of some psychedelic freak show. Things that put truth in David's words; Those thoughts came again, as unbidden, silent stabs of pain.

Tegan led a private life, she always had. In the time since her birthday SG1 had stumbled across some certainties about the woman's past through watching Nirrti's interrogation and torture of her. The rest she had to finally trust someone with after some twenty odd years of keeping it hidden, locked away from even her self.

There were those things known to anyone who had access to her personnel file, she was a child prodigy. She started premed at the age of thirteen. She graduated with a medical degree at twenty, along with three other degrees mainly centered around science. She'd joined the Air Force after graduating, and in addition to serving on the medical staff, she'd been a pilot and put in combat hours. By all reports she was very intelligent and until joining the SGC her record was unmarred by any signs of insubordination. She wasn't sure what black marks currently stained her files.

Anyone who knew Tegan Kiser knew she was an overachiever. She was also very loyal to her friends and teammates. To some she viewed herself as indestructible, but it was all part of a bigger façade. Those who knew her really well knew just how strong she was, but they also knew there were cracks in her steel reinforced exterior. No one knew for certain just how much she hid behind those mysterious green eyes; No one except herself and God. To an extent SG1 and Janet had an idea, but could anyone ever really know how much pain was trapped inside. Would she ever be able to truly heal?

* * *

><p>AN If you are still hanging in there and reading this series THANK YOU! TC 4 Corrye will be following soon. Those of you who have reviewed, you know who you are, thank you so much for your support. And hopefully Tegan can avoid be such a whump magnet in the future, but I am beginning to think this should be called the Misadventures of Tegan instead of the Tegan Chronicles. lol


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